photo by strelitzia

We know that masturbation feels like an easy lay, but just because you’re a sure thing, doesn’t mean you always have to treat yourself that way. Ladies: Light some candles, dim the lights, take a long bath (with a dirty Ducky, perhaps), pour yourself a glass of wine, moisturize your entire body, play that album you’d never admit actually turns you on, read the dirty parts of Anne Rice novels, watch gay porn, fantasize about the Fedex guy. Gentlemen, feel free to take a leisurely candle-lit bubble bath, too. But if that just sounds to you like a way to get pruny skin, then treat yourself to some new manly man lube instead (Gun Oil was actually developed by soldiers in the field, dude). And all of you: take your time and tease yourselves a little, would ya?