1/16/09
Do It Tonight! Shake Hands Like a Human Being

handshakephoto by Gemma Longman

Knowing how to shake hands properly is not necessarily a sex- or relationship-related skill. However, it can certainly get a potential love or lust connection off to the wrong start — it could even squelch that potential entirely! So when you’re out tonight at a party, meeting new people and shaking hands, do it right. Avoid grips in the extreme — your hand should pass for neither a vice nor a wet noodle. Your grip should feel firm yet comforting, like a blood pressure strap after one squeeze of the air ball. Look the person in the eye for the duration of the handshake. Three shakes will suffice. These rules hold fast no matter the gender of the shakers. Women and men work, play, and screw like rabbits as equals, and the proper handshake should reflect this. Ladies, have you ever seen Martha Stewart shake hands? She thinks she’s the Queen, offering just her fingertips like she’s dipping them in Palmolive — and consider how much sex appeal she has! Gentlemen, the only hand you should be accepting merely the fingers of, rather than the full palm, is your grandmother’s.



5 Comments

  1. Know how Em & Lo advise eye contact? That, plus holding the shake just slightly longer than you need to, is a great way to test whether a person is attracted to you.

  2. craig, I’m guessing that when you shake hands, you should probably try to talk as little as possible.

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