Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in Boston who lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. She regularly (and generously!) answers your health questions here on EMandLO.com. To ask her your own, click here.
Hello Dr. Kate,
I had sex last night with a man who had a larger penis than I have experienced before. In the past, sex has been fun and feels good but last night was painful in every position, except missionary, and I had to ask him to stop. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and found that I was bleeding and my stomach felt as if I was having terrible period cramps (even though I am three weeks away from my next period). It is now the next morning and I am still in terrible pain and bleeding lightly. After using google, I have found that my cervix has possibly been hit / bruised. Is this what you most likely suspect? Should I be concerned? I don’t have health insurance until September.
Thank you! In pain and need assurance!
— Poked
Dear P,
Too much of a good thing…is just too much. Finding out that your partner is overly #blessed in the size department can be exciting, a bit intimidating, or downright scary. And your experience is very common.
I do suspect that your cervix took a bruising during intercourse, which lead to strain on both your uterus and the ligaments that support it. So a lot of structures in your pelvis are hurting today, and I’m so sorry. To treat your pain, I would try anti-inflammatories (like ibuprofen and naproxen) and heat (heating pad, or a hot bath). The bleeding will likely stop in a day or two. But—health insurance or not—if the bleeding or the pain get worse, or the pain is not significantly better in 3 days, I would head to an urgent care clinic. These clinics cost less than an emergency room, and are easier to get into than a clinic.
In the future, if you’re paired with a fellow whose size makes you pause, make sure you get PLENTY of foreplay and use a lot of lubricant. For best results, try you on top so you can control the pace and the position of how he enters you. Just because the vagina can expand to fit an 8 pound baby, doesn’t mean that it can accept a penis of great proportion without preparation and perhaps some restraint on his part.
— Dr. Kate
