Dr. Kate: I Orgasm in My Sleep

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

I’ll just cut right to the chase: I have orgasms in my sleep, what can be called “wet dreams.” When I dream something erotic (even if it’s just my husband and I having sex), not only do I become aroused, but I have actual orgasms. I would say I have several wet dreams a month.

Now, I’m not complaining — it’s kind of awesome, to be honest! — but I want to know how common this is amongst women? Because I’ve never heard of women having wet dreams. Men, yes…women, no. Although, my own husband hasn’t ever had a wet dream. I find that strange, because I always thought that men are the only ones to have them.

So what’s the deal?

— Sexy Sleeper

Dear S.S.,

You’re not alone. The 1950s sex researcher Alfred Kinsey estimated that 40% of women will experience an orgasm while asleep before the age of 45. And these unconscious orgasms seem to be more common as we get older (something to look forward to!). The going theory is that during sleep, our normal inhibitions don’t hold us back, so things that we find erotic — even if disturbing or “forbidden” — will arouse us in a way that wouldn’t happen while we’re awake. And women may climax faster when asleep, for the same reason. For good or bad, these orgasms are not usually voluntary or under conscious control — so there’s no point in trying to prevent them.

Having orgasms while sleeping is not a sign of sexual dysfunction, and they’re not a comment on the quality (or quantity) of your sex life. While there’s some crazy psychoanalytic research out there about what sleep orgasms signify, I think they’re just a sign of a highly tuned sexual system, one that’s built for our pleasure round the clock. So enjoy!

Best of health,

Dr. Kate

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.

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38 Comments on "Dr. Kate: I Orgasm in My Sleep"

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This is all very confusing, I’ve known of people who have experienced this spiritual husband, a friend who claimed she used to see hers even in real life died this year , don’t know what to believe anymore, to think I’ve read the entire bible and a good Christian , yet humans still confuse me with their opinions and views, life is so confusing. However I’m sick of all these spirit world things nobody asked for, as much as it sounds stupid and convenient to believe it doesn’t exist, it does . I just don’t know if my orgasm is… Read more »
Bittersweet, I 100% agree with Amandah. Being a born-again Christian nor having religious symbols in your home does not prevent the spiritual husband from entering in or manifesting. Even the demons & satan himself believes in Jesus. Having sex isnt the only way for this demon to enter in either. At any point that lust has enteted in, even in the heart, or if your eyes have been compromised by seeing things they shouldnt is potential for this spirit to enter in. This demon also has the ability to lay dormant for many years, or its possible that its been… Read more »

Ps again…..having twice a year sex dreams is surely not destroying My life either.

PS….I read Amanda’s comment & I have God in My Life. Have always been a Christian. I have no Husband to even be mad at. I live alone. Haven’t had sex with a Man for over ten years. So I have no sex demon rebelling against My husband because I am single. The sex dreams happen twice a year, not all of the time. I have a picture of Jesus hanging up right in My bedroom. And Mary’s statue in My kitchen. And Jesus on the cross at The inside of My doorway entrance from outside so people who visit… Read more »
I am 63 yrs old. I have not been with a partner for over ten years thus, I live alone. I am sick of periodically humping the bed….it is actually frustrating. It wakes Me up & I feel horrible down there because I can’t release. There is no one usually in My dream but Me. Once in a blue moon it is a faceless Man. It wakes Me up & I feel like crap down there inside. I have been going through menopause for over 10 years so the night sweats are horrible as well as during the day. Does… Read more »

Get help AmanDUH!!!!

Mhhh I’ve read your comments guys and I know all about wet dreams or multiply orgasms. The truth is you all have what you call “spiritual husband” its a very wicked sexual“demon” or let me sat satan. It is an attack and you need to be deliverd from that thing because it can destroy your life up to no percent. I know what am talking about most of you will not agree with me,bt I know its the truth. If you’re under that demon attack most of the time you hate your husband for no reason and sometimes you will… Read more »