Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.
Dear Dr. Kate,
I’ll just cut right to the chase: I have orgasms in my sleep, what can be called “wet dreams.” When I dream something erotic (even if it’s just my husband and I having sex), not only do I become aroused, but I have actual orgasms. I would say I have several wet dreams a month.
Now, I’m not complaining — it’s kind of awesome, to be honest! — but I want to know how common this is amongst women? Because I’ve never heard of women having wet dreams. Men, yes…women, no. Although, my own husband hasn’t ever had a wet dream. I find that strange, because I always thought that men are the only ones to have them.
So what’s the deal?
— Sexy Sleeper
Dear S.S.,
You’re not alone. The 1950s sex researcher Alfred Kinsey estimated that 40% of women will experience an orgasm while asleep before the age of 45. And these unconscious orgasms seem to be more common as we get older (something to look forward to!). The going theory is that during sleep, our normal inhibitions don’t hold us back, so things that we find erotic — even if disturbing or “forbidden” — will arouse us in a way that wouldn’t happen while we’re awake. And women may climax faster when asleep, for the same reason. For good or bad, these orgasms are not usually voluntary or under conscious control — so there’s no point in trying to prevent them.
Having orgasms while sleeping is not a sign of sexual dysfunction, and they’re not a comment on the quality (or quantity) of your sex life. While there’s some crazy psychoanalytic research out there about what sleep orgasms signify, I think they’re just a sign of a highly tuned sexual system, one that’s built for our pleasure round the clock. So enjoy!
Best of health,
Dr. Kate
Gyotalk
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.
This is all very confusing, I’ve known of people who have experienced this spiritual husband, a friend who claimed she used to see hers even in real life died this year , don’t know what to believe anymore, to think I’ve read the entire bible and a good Christian , yet humans still confuse me with their opinions and views, life is so confusing.
However I’m sick of all these spirit world things nobody asked for, as much as it sounds stupid and convenient to believe it doesn’t exist, it does . I just don’t know if my orgasm is caused by it , I would hope not though.
Bittersweet,
I 100% agree with Amandah. Being a born-again Christian nor having religious symbols in your home does not prevent the spiritual husband from entering in or manifesting. Even the demons & satan himself believes in Jesus. Having sex isnt the only way for this demon to enter in either. At any point that lust has enteted in, even in the heart, or if your eyes have been compromised by seeing things they shouldnt is potential for this spirit to enter in. This demon also has the ability to lay dormant for many years, or its possible that its been working in dreams or even while you sleep without you knowing it. Having orgasms while sleeping is just one sign. Have you ever felt a presence in your sleep, ever felt like a hand or a body near you while sleep, or that stage of inbetween sleep. It also effects other areas of life too. Its a very jealous & territorial spirit. Look up the incubus spirit for yourself & just read. Seek deliverance because i know from experience too that it’s not only affecting you w orgasms in your sleep.
I say this with the greatest love & concern for a sister-in-Christ.
Ps again…..having twice a year sex dreams is surely not destroying My life either.
PS….I read Amanda’s comment & I have God in My Life. Have always been a Christian. I have no Husband to even be mad at. I live alone. Haven’t had sex with a Man for over ten years. So I have no sex demon rebelling against My husband because I am single. The sex dreams happen twice a year, not all of the time. I have a picture of Jesus hanging up right in My bedroom. And Mary’s statue in My kitchen. And Jesus on the cross at The inside of My doorway entrance from outside so people who visit can be blessed when they enter My home. So I think the sex slave thing is nonsense. I think Our brains release Our inner sexual desires once in awhile to keep Our hormones in tact. Nothing more…nothing less. Just at age 63 it’s annoying…I have no desire for sex at this age because I have been going through menopause for over ten years.
I am 63 yrs old. I have not been with a partner for over ten years thus, I live alone. I am sick of periodically humping the bed….it is actually frustrating. It wakes Me up & I feel horrible down there because I can’t release. There is no one usually in My dream but Me. Once in a blue moon it is a faceless Man. It wakes Me up & I feel like crap down there inside. I have been going through menopause for over 10 years so the night sweats are horrible as well as during the day. Does this ever stop???? It is very frustrating.
Get help AmanDUH!!!!
Mhhh I’ve read your comments guys and I know all about wet dreams or multiply orgasms. The truth is you all have what you call “spiritual husband” its a very wicked sexual“demon” or let me sat satan. It is an attack and you need to be deliverd from that thing because it can destroy your life up to no percent. I know what am talking about most of you will not agree with me,bt I know its the truth. If you’re under that demon attack most of the time you hate your husband for no reason and sometimes you will loose affection towards your husband,you will only enjoy that sex of the night and the thruth is it is so good but it is hell. I was once a victim of a night sex slave, then I accepted Jesus as my lord and saviour and I was deliverd from all that sinful nature and I hv a new life in Christ Jesus, thou that thing still comes to me in the night the difference is now I hv an ability of God to rebuked and cast that demon out of my life in Jesus name. I pray that God may deliver your families and opened your spiritual eyes. When you sleep you suppose to sleep not having sex in your sleep it is not normal. No doctor or any1 can help u without Jesus.
I am 46 years old. For the past six months I have been
experiencing the most pleasurable orgasms ever.
Usually, I am not touching myself or dreaming about sex. I have been having orgasms since age since. I was lying on a pillow and felt extreme pleasure. I had no idea why, but felt like it was wrong. As I got older and knew what it was, I would have sexual thoughts for arousal. I’ve masturbated since age six, like I said. I have never had one from penetration and was very diisappointing to my ex husband and I. I never told him I masturbated because I was so embarrassed. When I married my second husband, I could not orgasm thru penetration. I was older and more comfortable discussing sex. I explained to my husband that I had to be lying face down on a pillow by rubbing my clit. So before he climaxed, I would first. I would lie on my belly and he would stick a finger in me as I bumped the pillow and rubbed myself until I climaxed. We could wait a few minutes, I would get excited again,and then he would climax thru penetration. This embarrassed me until I read that some women have never climaxed in their life and some only in dreams. Now at age 46, I climax sometimes twice in one night while sleeping and I sometimes I awake and sometimes I don’t, but I remember. It is the most pleasurable feelings that I ever have. This bothers some people, but just enjoy it. Iove the feeling whether I’m dreaming about sex or not. When it is a dream about sex, I’m still on my belly masturbating, with a partner joining in. Not only are they extreme intense, but last longer. The first two times, I thought it was a dream, now I’m sure it’s a real orgasm. I love having them, I just wish I could have one thru penetration, oral sex, or by my partner just rubbing me. I wish I could have one on my back. The reSon that I think I can’t is because my body is so used to lying on a pillow on my stomach. After reading that some women can’t climax at all, I’m glad I’m able to through masturbation. I have read that this is the only way some others can because they started so young.ike I said, for years, I would feel anxious down there and would lie face down on a pillow and masturbate for pleasure as well as ridding myself from that anxious feeling. It started at six as I mentioned eaier and took years to figure out why. Even them I didn’t know why, I never asked anybody because I felt ashamed and thought it was bad. I never told my first husband unfortunately because he felt inadequate and I’ve never told him. I’m so glad I was more open to my second husband. Sometimes I can easily have multiple orgasms by masturbation. Last night I was lucky enought to have two in my sleep and awoke during two of them. So ladies, don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. Just sleep and enjoy. They are wonderful. Excuse mistakes as I don’t have my glasses on.