Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
Last night, I had a dream where I was staying at his house, but in a separate room, and in a part of the house there was a dirty little room where a kind of demon monkey lived, and the monkey had little passages all through the house. Somehow, I killed it because it creeped me out, and I was told after I saw it seven times I would die. (It turned out the monkey came back to life when you kill it.) After I saw it six times, I became scared, and rung up my mother to ask her to come get me, but she ignored me and hung up, so I stopped opening my eyes. When it was time for dinner, I opened my eyes and saw the monkey again, and I broke down crying, then the dream ended. It left me feeling really bothered. What does it mean?
Lauri: I’m assuming “his” house is your boyfriend’s house, right? If so, then the reason you are in separate rooms in his house is because this dream is commenting on an issue that “separates” you two, to a degree. It is about something that has divided you, come between you. The dirty little room may be referring to a dirty little secret he has. The demon monkey is a very clever metaphor your inner mind has concocted to stand in for this issue. It is demonic because it is something you have “demonized” and it is in the form of a monkey because you, he, or both of you aren’t taking it seriously enough. All the secret little passages are the sneaky little ways your boyfriend has of getting into or out of situations… or into and out of your good graces! You kill the monkey in the dream because at some point you must have felt you were able to put an end to this divisive situation once and for all… but alas, the monkey kept coming back to life, which means this issue, despite your efforts, has not gone away.
Interesting, though, about the number seven. Has this issue come up seven times? The number seven, according to numerology, is the psychic number. Perhaps you intuitively know that the seventh time will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. And that is where the dying part comes in. Death in a dream isn’t about dying in real life; it’s about something coming to an end. In this case, it may be the end of the part of you that has continually turned a blind eye toward this naughty little issue. Notice how you open your eyes when it’s time for dinner. Your dream is showing you that the only way to “feed” the needs you have in a relationship is to “open your eyes” and see this one for what it really is. Is this relationship feeding your needs? Is enough, finally, enough yet?
Dreamer’s response: Thanks, this really helped. Before we first got together, my boyfriend told me he used to have depression due to his guilt of something, as he put it, “horrible” he did when he was younger, but he never told me what, which could refer to the secret. I’ve asked several times for him to talk to me about what happened, but he’s always weaseled out of telling me, not taking my questions seriously, which is probably the monkey. I respect his privacy, but it has been bugging me, and his inability to open up about his feelings has caused a bit of a communication breakdown. I have been quite sick on and off recently and have been unable to see him as much as we’d both like, adding to the strain on our relationship, and I have reluctantly decided if it gets any worse we would need to either sort things out or end the relationship, which is most likely the dying part. Thanks, you’ve made a lot of difficult choices clearer for me, it’s definitely time to sort things out.