Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it) This week, a reader asks Lauri:
This is a very strange dream and I’m almost embarrassed to ask about it but the image has been in my head all day and is quite disturbing:
What I remember is there was a man in the dream. I don’t know who this man is and am unsure if in my dream I knew him. We were talking because he was very sad. He said he was sad because he could not be physically intimate with a woman because of his unusually large penis. I tried to tell him that I’m sure he’d find the right woman, that type of thing, and then he offered to show it to me so I could see what he was talking about. I agreed and when he took it out–it was mammoth! It was probably about 8 inches in length but the girth was like that of a tree trunk. The sides of it were almost square in shape but it did have a very large tip that was rounded. It was also very thick. He asked me to touch it which for some reason I did in order to bring him pleasure.
What on earth does that mean? It’s such a disturbing dream to me. I have to add that I am currently experiencing some anxiety due to some things that are happening right now as a result of sexual abuse I experienced as a child.
I really want to get this image out of my head!!
Lauri: I answered a dream a couple of weeks ago about a tree trunk sized penis but I want to address this one because the circumstances connected to the dream are much different. Whenever something is over-sized in a dream it will represent something in waking life that is abundant or overwhelming. In the dream from a couple weeks ago, the giant penis represented the female dreamers abundant amount of so-called male, assertive energy. In your case, being that you were sexually abused as a child (I assume by a man) the penis represents the overwhelming fear or anxiety you now have caused by some abuser who used his penis inappropriately with you.
The sadness he has in the dream is really your sadness because he is a creation of your inner mind and is therefore a part of you. I would imagine that you, like the man in the dream, are unable to allow yourself to get intimate with someone because of your past. And like the man in the dream this probably saddens you because you would like to be able to.
The dream and the imagery in it are disturbing because they are connected to a disturbing issue. But you can use this dream to help you heal. The man in the dream (which is the part of you that wants to be assertive and get better) wants you to touch his penis. That is actually symbolic of your need to get in “touch” with this part of you that is asking for help. It brings him pleasure when you do because doing this (getting in touch with and working with your abused self) will please your inner self, and will bring you satisfaction when you are able to overcome this hurdle in your psyche.
Dreams, as you know, are very visual and when using dreams in therapy an image in the dream will be focused on in order to take the fear out of it and what it represents. In a nutshell, you will want to imagine this penis as your pain/anxiety: it’s odd, it’s ugly and it makes you uncomfortable, just like your anxiety. But if you face it, get in “touch” with it, and realize that you actually can control it rather than it control you, you’ll find it’s not quite as frightening anymore. Of course, the guidance from a trusted therapist will help this process along (if you aren’t already working with one). But see, I wanted to use your dream even thought I recently covered a similar one to show how dreams can actually be nifty little built-in healing mechanisms due to the imagery they present us with and the light they shine on our issues. So I hope this helps. And remember, yeah, it’s a big issue you’ve got yourself there but it is NOT bigger than you. Good luck!
Dreamer’s response: Thank you so much for interpreting my dream for me. Anyway, I can really appreciate the interpretation of my dream. It makes total sense to me–I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. You are very talented and are providing a very valuable service to people like me. Again, thank you!