Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
My boyfriend and I have been on rocky ground lately and I can’t seem to break through the tension. There’s no intimacy or sex. We’ve been bickering a lot and I recently found out that he’s come very close to cheating. Last night, I had a weird dream about the two of us that I cannot figure out: I was sitting on a couch in a living room setup, but it was by the checkout in a Target store. My boyfriend was there, as was his family and my coworkers (through whom we met). Also, there were random people shopping around us. Apparently, I found out he was HIV+ (in the dream). I was in this living room crying, but his mom said that the whole family had this disease. My boyfriend was telling me that I knew this about him already, so it was ridiculous to act surprised. When he said that, I knew he was right — I was somehow aware of his status, but I was still devastated. I couldn’t stop sobbing in front of everyone and I was so embarrassed. I’m certain this dream has to do with our issues, but I can’t figure out why I was in a living room in Target, why everyone was there… Any insight would be appreciated.
Lauri: When we are in a bind in waking life and don’t know what to do, our dreams come to the rescue to help us sort it all out. Our dream thoughts are far more focused and insightful than our waking thought… they just speak a different language. Your dream is undoubtedly trying to help you with your relationship.
The living room set up suggests that this is about an issue you have been living with daily (the issue with your boyfriend). The checkout means that you or he or both of you are about ready to check out of the relationship. Why Target? Perhaps you are feeling targeted in some way by him. Does he aim his anger at you? Or are you the one aiming at him?
HIV in the dream indicates you now feel he is “diseased” emotionally, he is behaving in an unhealthy manner. He says, in the dream, that you knew about this. In waking life, did you know what he was really like and dated him anyway thinking you could change him? What about him in reality should you not be surprised about?
The embarrassment you feel in the dream is connected to embarrassment you feel in waking life. Do others know that he almost cheated? Do others know what is going on with you guys? Did others warn you about him before you got involved with him anyway?
Whatever the case, your dream seems to be showing you the situation is unhealthy and your ability to checkout is right there in front of you yet you are staying put on your metaphoric couch being miserable. Hopefully seeing your situation from this perspective will help you make the right decision. Good luck!