Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
About three years ago I discovered that my husband cheated on me with my best friend! We have since sorted things out and moved on (so I thought anyway!). However, I have recently started to constantly dream that my husband is cheating on me again. Every dream is different, the only thing that’s the same is that I always walk in on him kissing someone or having sex with someone. In the dreams he never really seems to care that I interrupted him. He also doesn’t seem to care if i say I’ll leave with the kids and that he’d never see them again. What does this mean?
Lauri: Cheating dreams are actually incredibly common and rarely point to an actual affair that might be going on; rather, they point to jealousy on the dreamer’s part over something he or she feels their mate spends too much time doing — like golf, hanging with friends, or spending too much time at work.
However, there was an actual affair at one time in your marriage, so that does become a rather sticky wicket as far as this dream is concerned. So let’s get the obvious out of the way (hopefully). Do you think another affair might be going on? Other than this dream, is there anything else that is causing the hair on the back of your neck to stick up? Is he fiercely guarding his iPhone or Facebook? Has he stepped up his grooming? Is he distancing himself from you? You’ve been down that road before. You know the signs. Does it feel like déjà vu all over again? If so, your intuition may be trying to get your attention through this dream.
If that’s not the case and this dream seems to be coming out of nowhere, then relax! Understandably, you are gun shy and may be having a bout of insecurity, which unfortunately does happen even years after the trauma of having to live through infidelity. It is severe emotional trauma and your inner psyche will respond the same way as any other traumatic event — and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder dreams can certainly take place. That could be what’s happening, which means hubby may need to give you some reassuring TLC right now so you can more easily move through this episode.
It is also possible that this is a classic case of what causes most cheating dreams… hubby’s got too much focus, time and attention into something that does not involve you and is causing you to feel cheated out of your time with him. The fact that you keep interrupting the event in your dreams may be a clue. What in waking life does he complain you keep interrupting? Do you keep walking in on him while he’s in the process of working on some project or idea? What is it you would like him to stop doing so much?
Hopefully this is the source of the dream and not the trauma effect or another affair! If this is the case it can be easily remedied by hubby cutting back a bit more on the time he gives this project or issue or at the least, by giving a little more hugs and cuddles to you.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.