Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
My girlfriend and I had the same dream of her deceased husband who passed 2 yrs ago. She dreamt that he came back and he was ok with her staying with me even tho he is back. And I dreamt he asked me nicely to go as he wants to be with his family again. What does this mean?
Lauri: Having the same or similar dream as someone else on the same night is called shared dreaming and it usually happens to two people who are very close: husband and wife, best friends, mother and daughter, etc. The reason why is because the two individuals are dealing with the same issue and their subconscious responds to it similarly by giving them comparable dreams.
That being said, do you recall if the day before this dream you and your girlfriend spoke about her deceased husband? In both your dreams he came back, which makes me think perhaps the two of you brought up marriage or perhaps having a deeper commitment to each other.
Her dream is very telling in that it shows us she is ready to move on and love again. That’s a big deal! I can’t tell you how many women I have done dream work with that won’t move on because they feel as though they would be cheating on their husband. But your dream shows some apprehension.
Him telling you that he wants to be with his family again seems to reflect a concern you may have that his presence will continue to be felt in this relationship. Do you worry that your girlfriend compares you to him? It sounds like she has children. Do you worry that if you married her, her children may not welcome you?
Remember, dreams are a conversation with the self, so your inner dialogue shows some serious concern. Let this be an opportunity to bring this up to her and you can start the conversation by reminding her of this dream. Dreams are the most honest expressions we have. If you are upfront and honest about this, she’ll appreciate it and will likely reassure you… if her dream hasn’t done that for you already. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Dreamer’s response: Thank you so much for informing us of the meaning of our dreams. Yes, we have been talking about us and the future so I guess it’s a sort of acceptance and closure. She dreams about her husband a lot and all I say is, he comes to visit in her dreams to see if she is ok. And yes she has children and we get along very well.
Her husband was a great man and she loved him to bits. I think she does not compare me to him but because it was so sudden and then all of a sudden meeting me it’s been a quick transition from loving one to another. But we both care about each other very much. But I understand what it means now and I will definitely keep in touch. Again, thank you very much.
Want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning? Lauri’s latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, will give you the tools you need to become a Dream Expert too! Check out all of Lauri’s books here.
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