Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a male reader asks Lauri:
I’m in the kitchen and a guy who is about 5 years younger than I am enters. Apparently he is also living with me and my husband here. He begins to embrace me from behind and whisper sexual things in my ear and then he penetrates me from behind while we are up against the door so that no one can get in. I don’t tell him to stop or anything. I just let it go on. Then when we are done we carry on like normal. Then I woke up.
The problem is I would never cheat on my husband and my husband and I have a great sex life. We go at it almost every day. And if the kids are gone then maybe more than once a day. I have a friend who has a young man staying with her and her husband right now so at first I thought the dream was a message to her through me but now I’m not so sure. What do you think it means? Please help.
Lauri: Your dreams are always going to be messages about you to you, not someone else. You see, we are all very narcissistic when we dream. When we dream we go inward and explore our own thoughts and issues and aspirations. We figure out our own lives, not someone else’s. When dreaming it is all about Me, Me, Me! That’s why understanding your dreams is a great way to get an edge in life. That being said, the kitchen setting of your dream suggests that it is about something YOU are planning, preparing for or “cooking up” in waking life.
The younger man, who apparently is living with you and hubby, represents some element within your marriage, some issue, behavior or attitude the two of you have been “living with.” He comes up from behind you. Anything behind you in a dream often refers to something from your past OR something that ought to be put behind you and in your past. Just as you allow him into your body in the dream, so have you allowed this issue or behavior or attitude “back” into your life. Usually, an unknown man in a woman’s dream represents her own “male” energy, also known as yang or animus energy, which is the assertive part of you. The part of you that takes action, brings home the bacon, puts your foot down, etc. Has something from the past come back into your life causing you to be the one in the marriage to “wear the pants”, as they say, or be the bread winner?
You do your business up against the door so no one can get in! That is significant and most likely points to the waking life issue being a private matter OR a matter about which you don’t care to hear other’s opinions or advice. Whatever the case, it is something you are comfortable with and feel is “normal” for you… and so I say to you, “Rock on, sista!”
Dreamer’s response: OMG! This makes perfect sense. Yes there is something we are both dealing with from my past and it has caused lots of problems but recently we began working through the issue. Thank you so much because now I know how to proceed and what to do next. I let others issues go before mine and I’ve put a hold on things that matter to me for the last 10 yrs and there are about to be some changes. Nothing too drastic mind you. Just enough to let my hubby and the other issues in my life know that there’s a new sheriff in town! Thanks again Lauri.