Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
Last night I had a dream about my current boyfriend of 6 months. He is 5 years older than me and equally more “experienced” than me, but we have an amazing sex life anyway. So here’s the dream: He and I are having a threesome (which we’ve talked about, but I’m not sure I’m 100% comfortable with actually happening), and he decides he wants to put it in the other girl, but she keeps refusing. He puts it in anyway and starts playing with her, and she quits resisting and starts to really enjoy it. Well, the whole time he’s “doing” her he’s looking right at me (as if he’s teasing me), but neither of them are pleasing me or anything. While he’s looking at me (and still pleasing her), I put my hand over his face and turn his head away and say, “Don’t look at me.” After that I woke up in a cold sweat.
Lauri: Well it seems your dreaming mind is helping you with this decision! Decision making is one of the main purposes of dreaming, which is why we say, “Let me sleep on it.” What we’re really saying is, “Let me dream on it.” And as I always say, “Your best thinking isn’t done on the toilet… it’s done while you dream!”
So, through this dream YOU are figuring out that — should a manage a trios happen — you will wind up feeling alienated from his affection. Sure, in real life all three of you would probably be taking turns, or even “rationing” the affection BUT it would still bother you to see him give what he normally gives to just you to someone else.
Now, even though the girl in the dream represents a third party that might be brought into the bedroom, she also represents YOU. An important rule of thumb to remember when analyzing your dreams is that unknown people are always aspects of yourself, because when you dream, it’s introspection on the deepest level. Your dreams are all about you, you and you! That being said, this girl is the part of you that is currently resisting the threesome but may give in, just as the girl in the dream resisted but gave in. Your boyfriend, in the dream, is looking right at you the whole time because in real life he is “looking to you” to say yes. But your wiser dream self turns his head and tells him not to look at you because, deep down, you probably would like him to stop asking because you know the idea of a threesome – like the way they were ignoring you in the dream – does not please you.
Just because your boyfriend is more experienced doesn’t make him a better lover than you nor a better decision maker as far as what YOU really want.