photo by elsie esq

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about love and sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I work a night job in a warehouse with a lot of men and I have become very fond of one man in particular. He is very good looking and goes out of his way to help me with a lot of things. But we are both married. I have been having reoccurring dreams about him. At first they were dreams of innocent conversations or just hanging out. Then they progressed slowly over many dreams into more and more intimate meetings, like snuggling and playing hide and seek from our partners.

The latest dream he finally made a move on me. We went to his home after leaving work together. As we walked out of work all our co-workers watched and commented under their breath about us like they all knew what was going to happen. On the way to his house we noticed my ex was following us.  When we got to his home we just hung out around the coffee table on the couch talking while his wife was in their bedroom sleeping and my ex was on the chair next to us. After a while his wife came in and threw a fit — he told her to deal, that he would be in later.

When I asked for him to help me with a drink in the kitchen he came up behind me and began to kiss me on my neck and down on my shoulders. As I turned around our lips met and it turned into a pretty hot make out session; all the while his wife is in the bedroom and my ex is the living room.  Something stopped us from going any further and I decided to leave. With no one knowing what had just happened in the other room we said our goodbyes smiling uncontrollably at each other and I left. Then woke up.

I am married, so why does my ex come into play and what does all this mean for my co-worker and me?

Lauri: No doubt you’ve entertained this idea in your head during waking hours so now your dreaming mind is entertaining the idea as well. One of the many purposes that our dreams serve is that of dress rehearsal, allowing us to safely go through a situation that could possibly happen in real life so that we can be prepared should it come to pass OR to learn from the dream that we ought to avoid the possibility at all costs.  I believe the latter is true for you.  Here’s why:  In the dream he made the move on you, which suggests that you would not likely make a move on him in real life so your dream is presenting to you what to expect if he were the one to make the move.

The dream takes place at his home so again, this is on his terms.  The co-workers are talking under their breath because if something ever happened, they may figure it out… if they haven’t already picked up on the chemistry between the two of you.  Your ex is following you in the dream for a good reason.  Why is this person an ex?  What broke you two up?  Can you apply that to this situation?  If not, then it may simply be the way your dreaming mind is trying to warn you that this situation could create another ex in your life… your hubby!

The wife is sleeping in your dream because she is asleep and unaware of the attraction between you and her husband.  But your dream is showing you what may come should she “wake up” to this reality… t’aint gonna be purty.  Your crush telling her to go away and deal with it is actually YOU telling yourself to put that thought away, don’t let the thought of his wife get in the way of your longing for him.

You ask him to help you with a drink because you thirst for him in waking life and you may imagine quite often how he could help you quench that thirst! The hot makeout session that ensues is not only you bringing to life what you keep in your head during the day, it also represents how hot you may get when you two have a waking life conversation, because kissing in dreams often is connected to conversation in real life because – like kissing – it also takes two mouths to communicate. Something stops you from going further in the dream because, deep down, you know the relationship as it is now should not go any further.

The point at which a dream ends is often the point – the message – your dreaming mind wants to leave you with.  You leave.  That means it is best to LEAVE well enough alone. You have an innocent crush, there’s not much you can do about that but you can do everything about leaving it at that, just a crush and nothing more.  Just remember, your ex was in that dream for a reason.  You don’t want to create another ex, do you?

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.