Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I have been having the same dream for about two weeks now, nearly every night. Let me start from the beginning… I work in the office of a marketplace in my home town. I’m a friend of the business owner, who is a lot older than me. I also am friends with his son who is only a few years older than me. We’ve been flirting for years now. However, I’ve never agreed to go out with him (despite the fact that I do like him) because he sleeps around and I hate that. Two years ago he got a girl pregnant and married her. They’re both very happy now and are raising their son together.
Now, on to a more interesting subject… my reoccurring dream. It starts out with me in my office at work. He comes in to say good morning and brings me my coffee like he has been doing for the past few years now. Except instead of leaving he sits on my desk and just stares at me. I laugh and ask him what’s wrong. He tells me “Nothing, you just look beautiful today.” Then for some reason I start to cry. We end up talking for a long time, and we go on a date the next day. The dream seems to be a few weeks long, and over time I become his mistress. I hang out with his son, and we become close. It seems like a perfect life despite the fact that I am the dirty mistress sleeping with my boss’s son! Somehow our relationship gets out, and when it does I lose my job. What could this mean for me?
Lauri: This is indeed interesting and could be an extension of the thoughts you may sometimes entertain while awake regarding this workplace hottie! But I believe it goes a bit deeper than that and may in fact be a thoughtful, internal commentary on your approach to relationships.
The dreams always begin where he brings you coffee in the morning. This is a good indication that these dreams are about something you have been “waking up and smelling the coffee” about in real life; something that is becoming clearer to you. He is staring at you in the dream because, through this dream, you are taking a good hard look at yourself, perhaps trying to see yourself from the perspective of men. When you ask him what is wrong, this is really a question you are posing to yourself, “What is wrong with me?” Dreams are a conversation with the self after all. Have you been wondering why you are single? What men think of you? Questions like that? He (you) tells you that nothing is wrong. This is confirmation that you’re just fine. As far as you can tell there isn’t any crazy personality disorder or hump back or anything that should pose a problem to any possible suitors. And in fact, you’re quite beautiful as far as your inner mind is concerned!
It is interesting that you start to cry at this point. What is that about? Crying in a dream is always connected to waking life sadness. What is upsetting you in real life? And how can you connect that sadness to this co-worker? Did someone treat you once the way he treats women (or used to treat women before he married)? Proceeding to getting involved with him in the dream might be a commentary on how you feel lately. You describe yourself in the dream as a dirty mistress. And you lose your job. Both of these suggest that you are not feeling valued. A mistress can only ever have half of a man and losing a job means you aren’t valuable enough to keep around. So what is it that is making you feel this way? Is flirting with a married man starting to get to you? Or have been in a dry spell or a series of bad relationships that is causing you to feel unappreciated?
Whatever it is, it is something that is nagging you, which is why you keep getting the dream. It seems that you may need to work on realizing your own value as a fabulous woman who is above flirting with a married man and who is also worthy of a loving, trustworthy partner. When you present yourself as such, that is how you will be treated. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.