Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
In real life, my third cousin is 20 years older than me. He lived with my family until I was 6. My dad was pretty much his father figure. He is a great person (if very conservative) and has a wife and three children. My immediate family is very close to each other (in a healthy way) and has always remained in close contact with this cousin. All of these facts (except the marriage and kids) were still true in the dream I had last night: I was in a long-distance relationship with my (third) cousin. It was still pretty new, and not physical yet. We were talking on the phone, and he kept saying how he should move to my small college town so we could be together. I was really hesitant (trying to avoid getting more serious) about wanting him nearby and tried to convince him that a nearby (and larger) city would be better for his career. Needless to say, no one in the family knew about the relationship. Help!
Lauri: Fear not! Your dream does not suggest you have a any suppressed, incestuous desires to bed or wed your cousin. An important rule to remember when figuring out your dreams is that the people in your dreams are actually some symbolic part of you rather than that particular person. So your dream is not about your cousin but about what he represents to you. You described him as conservative. Is there a part of you that is conservative financially, socially or politically? Or is it that he represents family, and you are conflicted as to whether you are ready to go down that road yet. In the dream the relationship was a secret. In real life, do you have conservative views you haven’t shared? Or is there something else you are keeping on the down-low? You discuss his career in the dream so this may very well be connected to YOUR career in waking life. Maybe a family of your own would curtail your career at the moment. Whatever the case, your hesitance in the dream suggests you are hesitant about opening up about something in real life… and where a dream ends is usually where the message is. In other words, your dream may be telling you, for the sake of your career, that there is something you may be better off keeping your distance from.
Response from dreamer: Thank you so much for interpreting this! I do have two issues that sound completely at odds right now. I’m in a relationship that is a little frustrating because we never communicate and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I’m worried it never will. Because physical involvement has been low, I haven’t had a need to tell him I’m a virgin (and that it’s not for religious reasons). Because of past experiences, I am extremely nervous about doing so. At the same time, I am going to a specialist to see how much current medical problems will affect my ability to have children in the future. In many ways, I do feel like I have a double (or triple) life. Whew, now I don’t have to feel awkward when my cousin comes to visit!