Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means (after the jump). This week, a straight woman asks Lauri:
A few nights after a really nice, sunny day spent with my boyfriend and my family, I had this dream that really bothered me. In the dream, he’s just come back from a long trip, like a study-abroad deal or something. We share a few really intimate moments — no sex, but completely charged with attraction and desire, lots of touching — and then settle down to talk in my living room under the silent assumption we will eventually have sex. We are holding hands and leaning on each other, and suddenly there is this anonymous girl there with us. She brings up a shocking bit of news — that my boyfriend has impregnated some hussy while abroad! He is totally ashamed and repentant, and while I get a little angry, I mostly stay cool-headed and even say, “Let’s not have a stupid fight” (I remember this line very clearly). I walk out of the room angrily once, but then quickly return and accept him and propose a way for us to work through this trial. Of course, our potential for welcome-back sex is ruined.
This dream shocked me because it is totally out of character for both me and my boyfriend. We have been very committed to one another for close to two years; we have a stable, happy, passionate relationship; and we are very honest and open with one another. He is more introverted around others (so no hussies for him!), and I am not nearly this cool-tempered. And though we have not yet had intercourse on the basis of taking things slow and smart, we have engaged in other sex acts. We do live an hour apart, but I see him most weekends and will be with him from the summer onward.
What is this dream saying? Help!
Lauri: When you are in a long distance relationship (even when the distance isn’t all that long) it is common to dream that your mate is in another country… or even on another planet! It reflects how difficult the distance is on the emotions. You want so badly to be together that it seems like you are light years away from each other. His impregnation of “some hussy” is nothing for you to worry about! It very likely means that he has “fathered’ something new in his life such as a new idea, a new job, a new project… something that he considers to be “his baby.” Do you recall if, on that really nice sunny day, he mentioned something new in his life that might require quite a bit of his attention? This may be why you handled the news so well in your dream, because the real life situation is something you can accept… something perhaps you wanted to protest at first, but realized it is something you can live with. Now as for the welcome back sex being ruined: that’s just the old “taking it slow and smart” attitude of yours creeping into the dream so that you don’t even break your commitment while sleeping! Man, you’re a tough cookie!