Dream Interpretation: My Cheating Fiance’s in the Driver’s Seat

car_kissphoto by Adriano Agullo

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means (after the jump). This week, a woman asks Lauri:

In real life, my fiancé and I have been together for about a year and a half. Our relationship has always been long distance. We recently had a very huge fight over him cheating on me and it ended up with us together again. Here’s my dream: we’re both in a car, me in the back and him driving. Were on a familiar road near my house that is usually busy but there is no one around. The car is just sitting in the middle of the road and he’s looking back at me through the rear view mirror. He keeps asking me if I’m ready to lose my virginity. I couldn’t hear myself answer but I kept on mouthing what I was trying to say. No matter what, he would always answer “You have to wait” and then stop looking at me and focus on the road.

Lauri: Your dream is giving you an honest look at your relationship.  Your boyfriend is the one in control.  He is the one behind the wheel, dictating in which direction the relationship will go.  The familiar road suggests this is a familiar path you two have been on again and again… not that he has repeatedly cheated on you, but that he most likely repeatedly gets what he wants.

What worries me is that he kept asking you if you were ready to lose your virginity. Since you didn’t state otherwise in your dream report, I am assuming you are a virgin.  Did your fiancé blame your virginity for his cheating?  Or have you been tempted to give it up to him in order to keep him? Interesting how he is looking at you in the rear view mirror. The rear view mirror is a big-time symbol for putting something behind you.  Are you wanting to put your virginity behind you? Or is he the one wanting you to make your virginity a thing of the past?  Even though he is the one asking the question in the dream, you are actually the one posing this question to yourself, through his voice.  Is he going to be the one you fully give yourself to?

It is also interesting that you had no voice. Perhaps you are not being heard in real life. Perhaps your inner mind is showing you that you did not state your case well enough in your fight.

I think it is important that the car was just sitting there rather than moving.  Examine the progress of your relationship closely.  It seems to have stalled, and for good reason.  I believe your dream is telling you to pause and think this through thoroughly: Is he worthy of your most precious gift, and do you want to continue down your road of life with him?  You get only one of each.

Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s free Dream Dictionary on her site.


  1. There have been many couples who stay together after one is caught cheating. Just because the OP chose to stay with this guy does not mean she is doing so for a ring.

    I also do not recall reading that neither of them have never lived near each other, it is only stated that their relationship has always been long distance.

    The things men don’t think about. Unbelievable.

    I think the OP has some things she should discuss with her fiance, maybe seeing a marriage counselor before actually taking the plunge with this man.

  2. Her intuition sucks, Rei. That’s the problem. It’s her waking moments she needs examined.

    OP, you’re thinking of marrying a guy who you’ve never lived with – hell, who you’ve never even lived near – and your recent fight about infidelity results in you two… staying together?

    The things women will do for a wedding ring. Unbelievable.

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