Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I had a very weird and vivid dream last week involving two men that I have been involved with in the past few years. First I dreamed about an old friend of mine that I have hooked up with a few times in the last year — and stopped after he said he wanted to keep a friendship. I dreamed that I saw him rowing at a regatta, and then I looked down and saw a giant gash on my chest (on the left side of my sternum). I was on the other side of the bay getting it stitched up, when I saw pirates row up the boathouse of the regatta and invade the regatta. Since I was far away, there was nothing I could do but watch, while someone stitched me up. Very odd, I know.
Later on that night, I had a SECOND dream. I was with a girl friend and we went to a dating seminar. Sitting behind me was my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me over a year ago. He pretended he didn’t see me, and didn’t make eye contact. The seminar instructor was asking everyone about their last relationship and why they broke up, and my ex said that he broke up with me because I was too much of a tomboy. I got very upset with this, but apparently no one else in the class heard him speak and everyone ignored me when I protested.
Lauri: Our dreams can be so helpful to our relationships…or lack thereof. I believe your dreams are helping you to understand why these two relationships ended. Being armed with that knowledge is sure to help you with any future relationships.
In your first dream, the guy who decided to keep you in the friend zone is in a rowing competition. In my research, I’ve found that any form of boat in a dream can often be connected to a romantic relationship. He’s on the other side of the bay, so that is reflective of the fact that he distanced himself from you in real life and that ship has sailed, so to speak. That is why you then discover a gash on your chest. Your chest is where the heart is and therefore represents where you hold your feelings. When he put you in the friend zone, he metaphorically tore at your heart. The fact you were getting stitched up is a good sign that you are getting over it just fine. The pirate invasion is your inner realization that, you were just a “booty” call after all, so you shouldn’t be too torn up about it. The message of this first dream should be read in the voice of dear ol’ Mom: Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?
In your second dream you are at a dating seminar with your ex-boyfriend sitting behind you. The fact that he is behind you in the dream means he is in your past, that which needs to be put “behind” you. Since he’s right behind you in the dream, he may not be far enough behind you in the past just yet, and therefore he still is in your thoughts somewhat.
His pretending that he doesn’t see you may be connected to YOUR pretending the breakup still doesn’t bother you. Be honest and ask yourself if that is the case. The question the instructor asks everyone in the dream is really a question you are asking yourself in this dream — dreams are a conversation with the self, after all. Why did your last relationship break up? That is a very healthy and introspective question to ask yourself! The answer you get, even though you protested it, is something you need to ponder. “You are too much of a tomboy.” Are you? If not, then ask yourself if you were too dominant or assertive in that relationship. Even if you wear skirts and pink, fluffy sweaters, did you play the male role? The message of this second dream is: If being in charge is your M.O., then you need yourself a man who’s happy in the passenger seat.
Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it. Anonymity guaranteed! And don’t forget: you can get access to Lauri’s Instant Dream Decoding Dictionary on her site.