4/15/14
Erotica: Spying on Your Neighbors Is Hotter Than Porn

The two of us often struggle with erotica. On the one hand, we think it’s an awesome resource (and by resource, we do of course mean wank material) for women who are easily squicked by porn –by  its cheesy dialogue, its fake boobs, and its even more fake orgasms. On the other hand, we are easily cheesed out by erotica. Also, while we want to inform our readers about new erotica collections — especially when they’re edited by fabulous sex writers like Violet Blue — we feel a little funny publishing material that people might wank to. That’s just not the kind of site we want EMandLO.com to be.

That all said, today we’re publishing an excerpt from a short story called “Reality TV” by Alyssa Turner. It’s part of the book Best Women’s Erotica 2014edited by, yes, Violet Blue.  We’ve convinced ourselves that this excerpt — about how spying on neighbors who “forget” to close the blinds or drapes can be a kind of interactive porn — is more of a tease, and that no one will actually wank to this story until they buy the book and make it all the way to the steamy end. Hey, two prudish sex writers can dream! In the meantime: You’re welcome.

“Reality TV” by Alyssa Turner

“Are you spending another evening in that window, Marcella?” Abby only sounds annoyed as she asks me the same rhetorical question I’ve heard every night this week. Her keys clank on the table next to the door, and I glance in her direction.

“Okay, so I’m nosy. Beats watching TV since they cut off the cable.”

“Maybe if you’d paid the bill instead of getting a new set of headshots…” she says, taking off her sneakers.

I pout. “You don’t mean that.”

And she relents. “No, chica. I don’t. You know I don’t.” Abby kisses me on the cheek. “So what’s playing tonight on NYC live, Amsterdam and One Hundred and Twenty-Third Street edition?”

“Checked out a girl doing Pilates over the bodega.”

“Big deal, I can see that working at the gym any time of the day.”

“Oh, but she was only wearing her panties.” I turn to her and smile.

Abby isn’t convinced. “Give me those,” she says with a devilish grin and snatches the binoculars out of my hands before I can protest. “Now let’s see here. It was the third window from the left, wasn’t it?”

“Wasn’t what?” I act clueless, but I won’t win any Academy Awards with my performance.

“Uh-huh, just like I thought.” She peers down at me from over the Nikons I scored for a bargain at a pawnshop in Times Square. “Same dude we caught stroking his dick in front of the TV three nights ago.”

I’m red, I know it. “Really, I didn’t see him.”

“Guilty little Marcella, can’t tell a lie for shit.” She’s laughing at me.

“Stop it.” I can’t help it. I’m giggling with her.

She takes another look at the nameless guy sitting naked on his couch with just one light on in the kitchen and the blue flick- ering glow of the television washing his taut body. “You’ve been watching him every night, haven’t you?”

“Maybe I have.” I shrug my shoulders.

Abby cocks her head to the side with an eyebrow raised and returns the binoculars to her eyes. “Where’s the zoom on these things?” I start to show her, but she waves me away. “Never mind, I got it.”

… [edited here for length and prurience!] …

“You want chocolate cake, I go to the bakery. You want a bubble bath, I run the water.” She rolls her tongue against mine in a single slow wave. “You have a taste for some cock?” Her voice is throaty. “I’ll see what we can do about that, too.”

“I love you.” All I want to do is show her how much. But Abby is scooting off to our bedroom.

“Stay there. I’ll be right back.” I hear her rustling in the night table. “Don’t you move.”

Sliding down my pants, I’m ready and waiting for her when she returns. Abby saunters back in peeling off her T-shirt and dropping it to the floor. In her other hand, a strap-on harness dangles between three fingers. “Hurry up and bend over before he finishes,” she says, and I do as I’m told. Looking through the binoculars, I’m pleased to see we’re not too late. “You keep watching him stroke his cock. and I’ll help you imagine what he feels like.”

“But you fuck like a girl.” I tease her with a wide grin and my eager booty wiggling in anticipation, waiting while she fastens my favorite dildo snug against her boy shorts.

“Oh, is that right?” Abby squares herself behind me and wraps her tawny fingers onto my hips. She takes a nice firm hold of my sandy brown ponytail and makes sure I know that she intends for me to eat my words. “Well, let’s see if you scream like one.”

Best Women’s Erotica 2014, edited by Violet Blue, is now on sale

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