Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between. http://www.emandlo.com Your daily dose of advice, news, and stories about sex, love, and other important stuff. No yoga mat required. Mon, 28 Jul 2014 11:00:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Your Weekly Stars: 07-28-14 http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-weekly-stars-07-28-14/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-weekly-stars-07-28-14/#comments Mon, 28 Jul 2014 11:00:21 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29431 grandcentral_ceiling_421photo by Simply Schmoopie

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Danger ahead. Proceed with caution. Go slow. Watch for sharp turns in the road. Get AAA for your genitals.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Taking risks is only admirable when the results are positive. Wow, it’s really brave to jump out of a plane so you can tell all your friends what it feels like to soar with the birds; it’s utterly stupid when the chute doesn’t open. It’s wildly romantic to marry someone you met ten days ago in Vegas; it’s idiotic when they turn out to be emotionally unstable psychos you have to divorce within six months. It’s courageous to quit your high-paying day-job to pursue your dreams and become a professional karaoke artist touring the karaoke contest circuit . . . No, that’s stoopid whether it works out or not. The point is, just like battles, you’ve got to choose your risks carefully too. Especially this week. Otherwise, putting your heart on the line might result in it getting run over.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Love is likely to develop in the strangest ways this week. Kind of like when people used to pick up the wrong roll of film from the photo lab and discover exactly what their next-door neighbor liked to do with his . . . . Except, with love, it’s a nice surprise, and we don’t call it “gross,” we call it “serendipity.”

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
You know how some weeks you feel like you could pull off the Kama Sutra’s “Feeding the Peacock” and “Riding the Elephant” before breakfast? And other weeks you need twenty minutes of pre-sex stretching just to get near the missionary position? Well, this week you’re going to be a veritable vertical 69-ing, reverse-butterfly-kissing sexpert. And that twenty minutes of stretching? An especially good idea.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
At some point this week, you may suddenly find yourself singing, “I can’t fight this feeling anymore. ” We have our fingers crossed for you that this urge strikes you in the shower, but we can’t make any promises. You shouldn’t, though. Fight this feeling, that is. Tell the world (and one person in particular) exactly how you feel — in song and dance, if need be.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
Practice quid pro quo in the bedroom this week — if you want snuggles, then snuggle first; if you want oral sex, be the first to head south; if you want to splosh, pay for the groceries. Sexual karma is a boomerang.

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
We don’t have many golden rules (and we often break them if the stars are insistent enough) but we have yet to meet anyone who was successfully set up on a blind date by a member of their family. Have you? Remember the sweater your aunt gave you on your birthday — you want that person picking out a partner for you? We thought not. A family member may try to coerce you into giving love a chance this week (and no, we don’t mean in any incestuous way, sickos); tell them (very nicely) that you’re all set for now.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
If we weren’t such generous, kind, selfless people, we’d say, “Stop polluting the dating pool!” Your charm is raising the bar so high the rest of us just can’t compete. Fortunately, it makes us happy when you get laid.

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
Your heart is a muscle, and for argument’s sake, let’s pretend your genitals are too. If you exercise them properly, they’ll become stronger. And everyone knows exercise is an endorphin inducer, an antidepressant and a sexiness promoter. This week, it’s time to get physical, like in that Olivia Newton John video, sans the leg warmers.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Take it easy. The more you push someone into an intimate situation the more he or she will be reluctant, slap you in the face or press charges. Didn’t you ever hear that story when you were a kid about the contest between the Wind and the Sun to see who could get the man’s jacket off, and the Wind was all cocky and macho, boasting about his power and strength like a fraternity date rapist, and the Sun was super laid back with a big smile on his face like he had just smoked a big fatty, and the Wind got all up in the man’s face trying to force it off which only made the man button up his jacket tighter while the Sun just sat back and shined and shined and quickly got the man to happily take his jacket off? If it had been an “adult” book, the Sun could have just kept shining, getting the man so hot and bothered that he had to unbutton his shirt, then pull down his pants, and then, aw yeah, slowly, oh so slowly, take off his tight, white Calvin Kleins to reveal his . . . Anyway, you get the picture.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Maybe you don’t buy all that stuff about how arm-crossing is a sign of defensiveness, avoiding eye contact is a sign of evasiveness and a slap in the face is a sign of slight perturbance. But you really ought to give lip-licking a try this week. Sensual body language will only work in your favor. So the next time you’re in the presence of someone you fancy, stroke the stem of your wine glass, playfully touch their forearm as you laugh at their jokes, hold that stare a little longer. Just stop short of drooling and sticking your tongue in their ear.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
It’s in the bag, baby. Just say the word, and everything your heart desires will be yours. At least, romantically speaking. When it comes to career success, financial stability and spiritual tranquility, you’ll actually have to get off your ass and work for a change.

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Blog Snog: Is Scissoring Really a Thing? http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/blog-snog-is-scissoring-really-a-thing/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/blog-snog-is-scissoring-really-a-thing/#comments Fri, 25 Jul 2014 17:03:36 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29594

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6 Kinds of Lube & 6 Reasons to Use Them Every Time http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/6-kinds-of-lube-6-reasons-to-use-them-every-time/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/6-kinds-of-lube-6-reasons-to-use-them-every-time/#comments Fri, 25 Jul 2014 11:25:44 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29203
LELO’s Personal Moisturizer (75 ml) 

Lube gets a bad rap, so we’d like to clear its name here once and for all: Store-bought personal lubricant is not a “crutch” for people with faulty machinery. And reaching for the wet stuff doesn’t mean you’re “not into it,” “frigid” or “kinky.” It just means you like to make sex even better:

  1. For women, natural lubrication doesn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with sexual arousal. You may be ready mentally, but your body could use a little catching up. It can happen any time, but it’ll be more common the older you get.
  2. Smoking, caffeine, booze, weed, stress, certain days in your menstrual cycle, and cold medicine can all dry you up. Lubricants can help combat these Saraha culprits.
  3. Adding extra lubrication means your sensitive parts can take more and more kinds of stimulation without getting over-sensitive.
  4. It helps prevent chaffing and the condom from breaking.
  5. With so many different kinds to choose from, you can find one that’s perfect for you (i.e. you like the consistency, the scent, maybe even the taste).
  6. It just feels good — even better than it does without!

But don’t even thinking about pulling a Marlon Brando and reaching for the butter (not even the olive oil, yuppie). Oils can degrade latex (i.e. break the condom!) and can also encourage vaginal infections. So when you’re a friend in need, manmade lubricant is a friend indeed.

Don’t have any on your nightstand? Here are 6 popular brands to check out:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dream Interpretation: My Wife Got Jealous of Extra-Marital Oral http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/dream-interpretation-my-wife-got-jealous-of-extra-marital-oral/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/dream-interpretation-my-wife-got-jealous-of-extra-marital-oral/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:00:59 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29587
photo via flickr

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I dreamed I had a threesome with my wife, an ex of mine, and this other woman [ED: So, more of a foursome, then?]. I’m not sure if she was my ex’s friend. It started with oral sex where the unknown woman started, and not too long after my ex started and my wife looked in the corner of her eyes with just a bit of disgust seeing me enjoy it, as she is not that good at oral.

LauriLet’s get the obvious out of the way. Did you have this dream soon after your wife gave you oral in real life, or soon after you perhaps discussed it or thought about it?

If so, then this dream indicates that this is an issue for you and you should take it as a gentle nudge from your subconscious to encourage your wife to explore different techniques that could help improve her skills. If you present it to her in the frame of “exploring” she may look at it as you wanting to be adventurous with her rather than you criticizing her. Em & Lo’s book SEX: How To Do Everything is a pretty thorough guide.

If your wife’s lack of oral prowess has not been top of your mind lately, then this dream may be more about communication. In my research I have found that most any dream that focuses on the mouth in some form or fashion can usually be connected to communication issues.

It seems your intuition is picking up on the fact that your wife has a bit of jealousy right now in real life, hence her giving you the side-eye in the dream. I believe your ex is in this dream as a warning that you don’t want your wife to become an ex either. So I believe this dream is urging you to open up the lines of communication with her and get to the bottom of what may be irking her lately. Open and honest communication is the key to a lasting and healthy relationship.
Visit Lauri’s brand new site, WhatYourDreamMeans.com, for even more dream interpretations! If you want to be able to figure out your own dreams every morning, then check out her latest book, Dream On It: Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life, which will give you the tools you need to become a dream expert, too. Check out all of Lauri’s books here.

 

 

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The 10 Best “Lion Sex” Photos from Getty Images http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/the-10-best-lion-sex-photos-from-getty-images/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/the-10-best-lion-sex-photos-from-getty-images/#comments Thu, 24 Jul 2014 10:35:51 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=28593

When you do a search for “sex” on Getty Images, you get a lot of interesting results — so many, in fact, that we were compelled to create a superlative series of Getty “sex” search images. We ran a “Best of Animal Sex” post, but there were so many amazing lion (money) shots, we had to give them their own day in the sun. Enjoy — they’re GRRRRRRRRRREAT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 New Routes to Your Orgasm http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/5-new-routes-to-your-orgasm/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/5-new-routes-to-your-orgasm/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2014 11:05:18 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29197 photo via Flickr

Most people have that one, fail-safe way that gets them from point A to point O quickly and directly, scenic lookout points be damned! And when you’re busy or tired (read: every minute of every day), it’s easy (and understandable) to resort to that surefire route on the rare occasion you do get around to doing it.  But tonight, whether you’re alone or with a partner, give yourself at least 30 minutes — okay, 20 — to try to have an orgasm in a different way. Because the more ways you can train your body to have an orgasm, the opportunities for pleasure you have at your disposal and the less chance your orgasm has of ever getting old (not that that is a huge risk or anything). Here’s how:

  1. Use a new hand technique: If you always stick with external stimulation with your (or your partner’s) digits, go deep. If you always hit your G-spot, try your PS-spot (which is directly opposite the G-spot in the vaginal canal).
  2. Get in a different position: If the missionary, for example, is the position you always end with during partner sex, then try to avoid it entirely one night (or at least give yourselves a good ten minutes with doggy style, cowgirl, or whatever).
  3. Try a new toy: If you usually like, say, a Magic Wand, why not try something designed to be used internally for a change, like a Rabbit-style vibe.
  4. Just try it without your toy for once: Attempt to recreate the sensation of your vibrator with your hands, your partner’s hands, or even your partner’s mouth. It won’t feel the same, but it won’t necessarily be worse — just different. And variety is the spice of your sex life!

Don’t worry if you haven’t gotten to O-town before time’s up. Remember, the journey is 90% the fun!

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Which Is Tougher: Pussy Or Balls? http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/which-is-tougher-pussy-or-balls/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/which-is-tougher-pussy-or-balls/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:07:29 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29458

Our hilarious friend and Lo’s old college dorm buddy (that’s not a euphemism) Eric Levy is an up-and-coming stand-up comedian. We’ve never seen him live, but he’s always cracked us up. He recently posted a set from last December on Facebook, so we finally got a chance to check him out: and he’s as funny as ever! We especially liked his bit on pussy vs. balls, and which is the tougher of the two (starts at minute 13:15). Enjoy!:

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An Audience Member at “The Men Tell All” Tells All http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/an-audience-member-at-the-men-tell-all-tells-all/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/an-audience-member-at-the-men-tell-all-tells-all/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 11:00:11 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29571

Our friend Laurie Sandell is not only a celebrity interviewer for women’s magazines like In Style, Glamour and Marie Claire, she is also a Bachelor Nation superfan. She started a private Facebook group for her likeminded friends (like us) called “Monday Night You-Know-What Discussion Group.”  She once bagged the White Rhino of Ben’s season of The Bachelor, a random run-in with show-villain and now tell-all author of “I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends,” Courtney Robertson (Laurie was bold enough to ask for a pic together and got one!). Her superfandom reached its zenith last night: she was in the studio audience of “The Men Tell All”! And now she’s here to tell us all about it:

How did you score tickets to “The Men Tell All”?
One of my friends knows one of the show’s producers.  As soon as I found this out, I immediately called in the most important favor I could imagine ever asking of him.

Where were you seated?
In the front row directly behind [host] Chris Harrison and the hot seat. It was just a fluke we got those seats: I brought a friend [another fellow superfan] and we were one of the last people called into the theater. They needed a party of two for the front row and we fit the bill.

What’s the difference between seeing it in person and seeing it on TV?
Surprisingly, it was eeerily similarly because the set was so utterly familiar, like we had teleported through our TV into the studio. Everything looked exactly the same: the lighting, the flowers, the candles, and, of course, the roses.

Are the guys better (or worse) looking in person?
So much better looking in person. We were actually floored by how good-looking they were. They were shorter than we expected, however — at least some of them were. They were all very comfortable and charismatic on stage. Clearly they had been in front of cameras for months. None of them seemed shy or embarrassed to be there.

Were there any surprises with the guys?
I have to admit, I have been a little bit lax in my viewing this season: I have an infant, so I’ve been watching with one eye, so I didn’t know exactly who the guys were. So when they came out, I was like “That guy is cute.” But he turned out to be the potentially racist one, so I quickly changed my crush.

To whom?
Ron was very charming and super cute.

What was Chris Harrison like?
He’s more sarcastic and hilarious than he is on the show. On the show he has to appeal to a mainstream American audience, but in reality he’s very wry and quick-witted, so that surprised me a bit.

And what was Andi like?
Very likable. And so much more beautiful in person — she truly is stunningly gorgoeus, as good-looking as any A-list celelbrity. Articulate and very put together. She came across as genuine.

How long did it take?
Eight hours.

What?!? Really? Start to finish?
Really, eight hours. When we first got there, we were in a holding room while the producers were making sure everyone was there. They gave us sandwiches. Then they ushered us into the studio and we spent the first two hours watching the fantasy suites episode — they tape “The Men Tell All” before the fantasy suites episode airs so we got to see it before anyone else. After that, each segment took a long time to shoot because they film more than they air, and there were breaks between each segment for leg-stretching and bathroom runs.

How were the bathrooms?
Luxury trailers set up like nice hotel restrooms. An entire trailer was one bathroom.

What was the audience like?
I was looking around at my fellow audience members, like, “Who are these people? How did they get here?” There were a lot of jewel-toned tops. It really did look exactly like the audience you see on TV. They’re a combination of people like me who are friends of friends, people who had won charity contests, randos off the street, and people associated with the show. For instance, there was a guy there — and there are hardly any guys in the audience — so I asked him how he got there and he said he provides the limos for the show. But I have to say, everybody in that audience was a superfan — there was not one jaded person in the room. I’ve been in the studio audience of “Dancing with the Stars” — I was there to interview Lisa Vanderpump — and I was seated next to another interviewer who was totally bored. At the “Men Tell All”, everyone — and I mean everyone — was into it, laughing it up.

Did you practice your reaction faces beforehand?
My friend and I were cracking up practicing our faces beforehand, but when the show started, we were so caught up in it, we really were making crazy expressions. Afterwards, we were actually afraid we might look really ugly because we hadn’t practiced looking pretty while looking surprised!

Did they use any of your reaction shots?
Umm, nothing BUT shots of us! We were practically in every frame! [See below, Laurie is the one in blue, with dark brown glossy bangs.] There were no super surprised reaction shots but we did tsk tsk when Chris Harrison talked about Marquel getting kicked off.  At one point, Chris  brought up a rumor that Andi was pregnant, but I misheard and thought she was about to announce that she actually was preggers, so I whipped my head around to my friend and gasped louder than I’ve ever gasped in my life.  Fortunately they didn’t use that.

What was the most surprising thing about the experience?
It was more intimate than I thought it would be. There’s nowhere to hide. You really are a part of the show. And the guys were very close to the audience. They were only a few feet away. They were milling about afterwards and we could have interacted with them, but there were a lot of producers around and I think it would have been unseemly to try to talk to them.

Any other dirt you can give us?
There are a ton of funny things that I’d like to share but they might really break the fourth wall and I had to sign an extremely steep confidentially agreement that no amount of fundraisers would ever help me recoup.

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Wise Guys: Which Would You Choose, Intercourse or Oral? http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/wise-guys-which-would-you-choose-intercourse-or-oral/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/wise-guys-which-would-you-choose-intercourse-or-oral/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 11:00:02 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29557 apples_orangesphoto via flickr

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “If guys had to choose between only intercourse or only blowjobs for the rest of their life, which do you think most guys would choose?”

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think most guys would choose blowjobs, but they really should be choosing intercourse. BJs are the best thing to happen to sex since sliced bread, but with added perks (let’s just say it’s like taking your car in for an oil change and getting a free car wash). Most men don’t get as many blowjobs in their daily routine as they’d like, so the prospect of guaranteed hummers for life is a dream come true. But it’s a devil’s bargain. Blowjobs are awesome, but they’re unsubstantial — mere icing on the cake. And a man can’t feel truly satisfied on a diet of sugar frosting alone. At some point he’s going to want to connect meaningfully with his partner. And by the time he gets to be 30 or 40 he may even want to have a baby. (Yes, men have biological clocks too. Ours are not as prominent as women’s, they’re more like pocket watches, but we have them.)

Straight Married Guy (Fred): I think most guys would struggle with this one, but then decide that intercourse would be the better choice. There are more variations of intercourse, for one thing.  There’s more skin contact which is always nice. Giving her pleasure at the same time is a big turn on.  The fact that intercourse is active rather than passive makes it a more likely choice for guys.  We like to do stuff… like aggressive pelvic thrusting.

Gay Commited Guy (Terence): Intercourse is the winner — by a technicality. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m guaranteed a climax with intercourse, whereas blowjobs end happily about half the time. And if I’m drunk, the odds are even lower. It’s a Sophie’s choice I hope I never have to make.

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Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week they’re all a little shy.

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Your Weekly Stars: 07-21-14 http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-weekly-stars-07-21-14/ http://www.emandlo.com/2014/07/your-weekly-stars-07-21-14/#comments Sun, 20 Jul 2014 11:00:36 +0000 emandlo http://www.emandlo.com/?p=29430 grandcentral_ceiling_421photo by Simply Schmoopie

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Keep yourself busy this week. And we don’t mean by re-organizing your sock drawer or checking out your Netflix Suggested Viewing. Go out on the town, wine, dine, take in the sights, absorb some local culture, flirt, shake your groove thang, sing karaoke, make out in dark corners. You’re much hotter when you’re cooking something up than when you just order in.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You’ll just want to cozy up with your hon and a home-cooked meal, maybe a couple of DVDs. You’ll feel like staying at home, kicking back and knockin’ some boots. Or maybe you’ll be up for a weekend getaway, just the two of you. Fuggetaboudit. Your hon isn’t going to be on the same page this week.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Don’t lie this week. Just be honest. It truly is the best policy (except when faced with questions like “Do I look fat?” or “Is my penis too small?”).

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
They’re called standards. Get some this week.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
“[We] know something about love: you gotta take it and show him what the world is made of — one kiss will prove it. If you want him to be always by your side, take his hand tonight, swallow your foolish pride and tell him that you’re never gonna leave him, tell him that you’re always gonna love him, tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now.”*

*If necessary, feel free to replace the words “him” with “her” and “love” with “sex.”

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
When you have a hot date, you shave, maybe buy a new shirt, put on your best underwear, clean your apartment . . . just in case. But admit it: it’s a bit of a ruse. Most of your underwear is worn and torn, and stubble is a way of life for you. We’re not suggesting you shouldn’t bother showering before you go out, just make sure you’re not pretending to be someone you’re not for the sake of impressing another this week.

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
Isn’t it always the way? You fall hard for someone and they’re emotionally unavailable. Someone digs your scene and you couldn’t care less. The imbalance of romantic power — or “hand,” as George Castanza said: seriously, did you know he, like, invented the concept?! — has got to be one of Murphy’s Laws. This week, you’ll have mad hand. Just be sure you don’t rip out someone’s heart with it.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
Take that special someone to the boardwalk this week. Take a day off work if you have to. Ride the ferris wheel, slip down the water slide, eat chocolate-covered, frozen bananas on a stick. There’s nothing like getting sand in your pants to bring two people closer together.

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
Don’t go swimming too soon after you’ve had a feast of the eyes.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Do the Wonder Twins stand around discussing what they’re going to do and how they’re feeling about each and every situation? No. They pick a form and they commit to it. They act. This week, let your Wonder Twin powers activate!

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Don’t be surprised if any of the following somehow creep up in conversation this week: “If you won’t marry me, I’ll go gay”; “If you leave, I’ll shave my cat”; “If we can’t have sex every day, I’ll bonk our mail carrier”; “If you don’t start using deodorant, I’ll vote Republican. ” Don’t get bullied by ultimatums — giving into them doesn’t help anyone. Except the Republicans. And the mail carrier.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
Jealous feelings are about as reliable as a used car dealer. You’d research a second-hand car before plonking down your three hundred bucks, right? So, before you let the green monster out of the cage, do a little research first. Chances are, you just don’t have all the facts regarding a certain someone you are rather fond of. And if you’re right, hell, unleash the ugly beast.

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