When women want to promote breast cancer awareness, they turn everything pink and post inane (sorry, we mean, hilariously double-entendre) Facebook status updates about where they like to hang their pocketbook. When men want to promote prostate cancer awareness, they grow temporary hipster ironic mustaches in the month of November. Get it, Movember? Depending on your take on hipster ironic mustaches — and the color pink — you may feel like you got the raw end of the deal.

We’re a little suspicious of how much money and awareness is actually raised by all this facial hair (and all this pink), but who are we to poo-poo such good intentions? We are curious, however, whether our nation’s libido is affected by all these ‘staches. Because, let’s face it, it’s been a long time since Tom Selleck was making a regular appearance in women’s masturbatory fantasies — these days, even Brad Pitt can’t pull off the ‘stache look.

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