Reader Matt said the following in response to our post, “How to Round the Final Bend When Sex Feels Amazing But You Don’t Orgasm”:

Are you on any anti-despressants? I once dated someone who was able to have orgasms readily, but after going on Prozac, was suddenly unable to. It’s worth considering if any medications are part of the issue.

Outside of that, the word “afraid” sticks out to me in your post. There’s so much emotion around these sorts of issues for everyone. Younger people especially have a very hard time not stressing out about sex–especially with new partners. Fear and anxiety are like Kryptonite in the bedroom. For some guys, this causes performance issues. For women, it usually seems to affect orgasms.

I’d say do everything you can to take the pressure off yourself. It’s okay–you’re experiencing something that millions of other women have experienced. Many of them were able to find out what worked for them in time. It might be solo, with a partner, with a vibrator, a certain type of hand or tongue movement combined with something else… it really runs the gamut. The odds are very much in your favor that you’ll eventually find out what does the trick for you.