I Dreamt of Hot Sex with an Ex I Haven’t Been with in 5 Years

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. If you’ve got a good one, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg just might tell you what it means! Click here to submit yours (18 and older only for dream interpretations, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

I was in a darker room with shades of black and red, on a large bed having sex with an ex whom I’ve been away from for 5 years — the one I loved dearly (I’ve been single ever since). I was on top and reverse. The sex was hot and great with lots of passion. After, he told me he missed me and wants to see me again (“I’ve missed you so much, I need to see you again”). He hugged me tightly and I woke up.

To me these dreams are unwanted because I wake up sad, wondering if I still have feelings for him. But who knows? Thanks!

Lauri: The first true love is the ex we all dream about the most, even decades after he or she was a part of our life. You will probably be glad to know that it rarely means that we miss him or her but rather what he or she represents: being desired, having passion in our life, etc. So your dream is not so much about the person but rather what he provided you.

Notice what he says to you, “I’ve missed you so much, I need to see you again.” This dream is a creation of your mind. It is coming from you, therefore it is not your ex saying this but it is something you are really saying to yourself. You miss the you that was in a relationship. You need to see that you again.

You’ve been single for 5 years! I can see why your subconscious is getting antsy. The dark room your dream takes place in tells me you may not have the shiniest, positive outlook when it comes to relationships. Take this as a gentle prodding to change that attitude and to get yourself out there again and find that person that will make your ex seem like chopped liver… and have yourself a helluva time in the process.