I’m a Straight Man with a Man Crush
We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Hey you guys. I need help on something. I’ve always had a major interest in girls, but you see, there is my Ecuadorian friend G: he is strong, smart, and I have to admit he’s got a good looking face. He just makes me smile. I think I’m falling for him. I’m confused. My heart just seems to race every time I see him. I can’t seem to stop glancing at him. I’m too nervous to text him. I remember he hugged me and I felt safe. HELP! What do I do to get over him?
— G-Love
As MILC said, sexuality is fluid and it’s not unusual for someone who identifies as straight to have feelings for someone of the same sex! If he’s interested, going for it is the way to go! If you just feel like you have a crush on him but aren’t interested in anything actually happening, that’s okay too. Don’t worry about it not fitting with your sexuality, just do whatever feels right to you, as long as he is also interested in that.
Why do you have to get over him? Sexuality is fluid. More people would be bisexual if it were more socially acceptable. I think it’s nice to fall for the person, regardless of gender — it shows how special you must think he is. If he’s gay, bisexual or open to you, then I’d go for it — test the waters slowly and see where things go. If he’s definitely strictly straight, then look elsewhere, be it in another man or a woman. Just enjoy the fantasy of him from afar and comfort yourself with the knowledge that distance and taboo are often what make things erotic in the first place.