We have to admit, reading Violet Blue’s article on Twitter sex made us feel a little out of it. And, okay, a little old. We have a Twitter account because someone told us we should sign up, but we’ve never actually “Twittered” and we’re not sure we ever will. So we think it’s pretty safe to say that we will never, ever Twitter in bed. We’re still trying to get our heads around text sex…how could that possibly be fulfilling?! Don’t you need both thumbs to text?!
But apparently getting down and dirty via Twitter is what all the kids are doing these days. As far as we can tell, it works pretty much like text sex (yawn), except unlike with texting, it’s all too easy to accidentally have Twitter sex in public — meaning, you might accidentally cc all your friends on your intimate encounter. For those of you who actually understand Twitter-ese, this happens when you communicate “@” someone instead of directly to them. We just hope they’ve all got virus protection.
Of course, there are those people who broadcast their intimate encounters to all their friends on purpose via Twitter. And apparently it’s not just pornstars promoting their latest films who take it to the next level and update their Twitter accounts mid-coitus. Which we guess is the 2009 equivalent of answering the phone during sex — except that if you’re really discreet and really talented with your thumbs (or your toes?), you might actually be able to update your Twitter account without your partner knowing.
We suppose it was only a matter of time — after all, people already use Twitter and Facebook status updates to let you know about their latest bowel movement or ripped toenail. So why not their latest orgasm? Personally, we’d rather hear about good sources of fiber, but we’re old-fashioned like that. So tell us, how far have you gone, technologically speaking? Text sex? Twitter sex? T.M.I. Facebook or Twitter status updates? Mid-coital updating…?