Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

During intercourse with my partner he stated I need to strengthen my muscles. I guess my grip was weak. I’ve had 3 c- sections in the past; the last was on 10/10/2002. I’ve never had anyone say this to me before. I’ve always had partners who complained about my vaginal walls being tight. Just a little confused.

— Tense

Dear T,

I don’t like that your partners are complaining about ANYTHING about your vagina. “Too weak”? “Too tight”? Imagine how they would react if you gave your assessment of their penis—too skinny, too small, too limp—during sex!

But whether you’ve had children (via vaginal delivery or c-section) or not had children, the elasticity of the pelvic floor muscles which surround the vagina can lessen over time — it’s a natural part of the aging process.  The good news is that, like any muscle, they can be strengthened and toned with exercise at any age. The exercises specific to the pelvic floor muscles are called Kegel exercises, and there’s great step-by-step instructions here. There are also safe toys you can use to help you with these exercises, like Lelo’s Luna Beads, Fun Factory’s Smartballs and the Kegelcisor.

Kegels will not only improve your pelvic tone—leading to less pee leakage as you age—but can make sex feel better for you as well. But like any work-out, it takes dedication and discipline, over time, to see results. So only do it if YOU want to.

— Dr. Kate
Gynotalk

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.

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