Em & Lo's RSS Feed Em & Lo's Daily Email Feed Be Our Facebook Friend! Follow Us on Twitter!
EM & LO's Sexy Holiday Gift Guide

Good Vibes Sex Toys

Buy on Amazon Kindle!

Christmas Story Lamp on Amazon

Four Things You Need to Know About Casual, Anonymous, Tinder-esque Sex

December 12th, 2014

by Aaron Kaplan for YourTango  |  photo via Flickr

Just as people were becoming more cautious about casual sexual encounters like anonymous sex and one-night stands, Tinder blew up on the “dating” scene, and people stopped being quite as cautious about risky rendezvous.

No one is saying you have to be a total prude when dating these days. Just because you’re being careful doesn’t mean that you have to take a vow of celibacy. You just have to use some common sense. For instance …

1. Skip the drugs and booze. These include such things as drug and/or alcohol filled parties where you don’t know a lot of people. While raves are usually attended largely by teenage and college-aged kids, there are many adults that like to pretend that they’re still teenagers. A lot of drugs are mood enhancers and act as aphrodisiacs. When you’re high and horny, you’re not going to be thinking about such things as condoms.

2. Wrap it up. Pregnancy isn’t the only thing you have to worry about when it comes to casual sex. There’s also the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). These run the gamut, from minor tempororary discomfort (like crabs) to infections that never go away (herpes). Some are even deadly, like human papillomavirus (HPV). Your random romp in the sack is the equivalent of playing Russian roulette.

3. Know thy partner. Anonymous hookups can be exciting and even fun, but it can also be one of the more risky behaviors anyone can engage in. You have no clue about the person you’re having sex with, and a lot of the encounters don’t even involve condoms. Worst-case scenario: Your hookup is a rapist or a a serial killer.

3. Bottom line: If you decide that your type of sex simply has to be kinky and risky, use some sort of protection against exchanging bodily fluids, even though it may not be 100 percent effective at protecting you against an STD, it’s better than nothing. And always make sure someone knows where you’re going. You certainly don’t want to become a victim of something simply because you wanted a little excitement.

This article originally appeared on YourTango: “The Tinder Factor: The REAL Risks Of Risque Rendezvous”

More Juicy Content From YourTango:



Comment of the Week: Buzzkills Are Poopyheads

December 11th, 2014

photo via Flickr

A good comment of the week doesn’t have to be Shakespeare or even Dr. Ruth. Exhibit A: This response by Dave W. to the post “How to Determine Whether Your Dating Age Gap Is Embarrassing“:

Sure, large age gaps have only a small chance of making it long term, but it’s a good sign if they can joke about it being creepy.  Anyone who truly makes an issue of it should be told to shove it.  Happiness is too important; buzzkills are poopyheads.


“150 Shades of Play” Is Now Available on Kindle!

December 11th, 2014

Our latest book, now available in a discreet Kindle edition

We get it: 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink is not necessarily the book you want to be caught reading on the bus, or during your lunch break, and it’s definitely not the book you want sitting on your nightstand when your nosy mother-in-law (“Oops! You mean this isn’t the guest bathroom?!”) comes to visit for the holidays. Yes, we’re looking at you, Olive Kitteridge. Dear readers, you asked, and asked again, and you even said pretty please, and so we’ve finally got around to releasing our most recent book on Kindle. It’s on sale now for $4.99 on Amazon — or FREE if you subscribe to Amazon’s KindleUnlimited service. Oh, and if you already happen to own 150 Shades in print, then the Kindle version is a bargain 99 cents.

And here’s why the Kindle version is worth checking out, whether or not you’re already familiar with the book: Every entry is completely linked! Simply click on any bolded word in the text throughout the book that you want to learn more about, and you will be taken directly to that term’s entry in our kinky encyclopedia!

A refresher course on our book: If you — or someone you know — loved the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy by E.L. James but wished there been a little more guidance and information, then 150 Shades is for you! This helpful (and hilarious, if we do say so ourselves) illustrated A-to-Z guide to kink for beginners includes:

  • How to’s on role play, dirty talk, spanking, bondage & more
  • Important safety info missing from the Fifty Shades trilogy
  • A voyeuristic peek at all of Christian Grey’s “hard limits”
  • Tips on shopping for top-of-the-line kinky accoutrements
  • Notes on what the Fifty series got wrong about BDSM
  • Links between all terms for easy navigation of related topics
  • Everything beginners need to know to get their kink on!

So don’t hesitate! Get it for a loved one, or a lusted-after one, for Xmas (or should we say XXXmas?).  Not only will you be giving yourself, your partner or your friends a great [pick one: sexy / kinky / funny / outrageous / romantic / informative / entertaining / gag ] gift, you’ll be giving your two favorite friendly neighborhood sex writers a gift, too.

But don’t just take our word for what a great read it is; check out some of the praise the book has already received:

“I consider Em & Lo my adopted sex daughters, and they have made me proud once again with ’150 Shades of Play.’ Their sound advice, smart writing, and sense of humor empower women to give kink a try, safely and realistically.”
— Betty Dodson, sex educator icon & author of “Sex for One”

“For readers looking to tap their erotic potential, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is only the tip of the sexual iceberg. With their signature sense of humor and commitment to educate, Em & Lo take readers on a guided journey into titillating, and often taboo, territories and expertly navigate a diverse landscape of thrilling possibility.”
— Ian Kerner, PhD, GoodInBed.com founder & CNN columnist

“Unlike ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ this was fun to read, informative and didn’t take eight chapters to get to the sex part. Em & Lo have yet again taught me more about sex than all the extensive research I’ve done by watching porn.”
— Joel Stein, TIME magazine columnist & author of “Man Made”

So what are you waiting for? Have yourself a Merry Little Kinkmas!

Oh Come Let Us Adore Her G-Spot

December 10th, 2014

The LELO Ina

The phrase “come hither motion” should be familiar to anyone who’s ever read anything about G-spot orgasms in women. It’s a very specific, very human touch (one or two fingers, usually), and it’s the key to stimulating a woman’s G-spot. And, as you might have discovered to your frustration, it’s not something a woman can easily do herself.

Until now. LELO just released two new toys, the INA Wave and the MONA Wave, which both feature a unique kind of motion called WaveMotion™. The toys feature a strong pivot that curls up and down to recreate the beckoning, come-hither motion of a lover’s fingers — a technology that has been long pursued in the sex toy industry. The INA Wave is a dual-action vibrator, more commonly known as a Rabbit-style toy — except this one also surges and plunges within you. And the MONA Wave is in the style of a G-spot massage — except, again, you guessed it, this one also surges and plunges within you. This animated gif (of the INA Wave) demonstrates the movement better than we ever could…

LELO’s admirable (and ambitious!) goal is to change the way a woman views her relationship with her body — and to help her take full ownership of her orgasm. As Steve Thomson, LELO’s Head of Marketing says, “Ownership of your orgasm is ownership of your body. This is a fundamental right as valid as any other, and one worth fighting for.” Yeah, yeah, we know: he’s in marketing. But still, it’s a concept impossible to argue with. And female sexual pleasure could use a good marketing campaign!

The idea behind these toys is that a woman can explore the full plethora of orgasms: clitoral, G-spot, blended, multiple, female ejaculation. Or, if you’re one of those people who are suspicious of the idea of different “types” or orgasm (hey, we get it) then think of it this way: Some orgasms stop and start. Some rise and fall. Some come from nowhere. Some come in, well, waves. Some are mild. Some go to eleven. And the WaveMotion™ will help you explore them all. Here are some more details about the two different toys…


INA Wave

The INA Wave is intended to help you experience blended orgasms. The tip rises and falls while it vibrates, as the flexible finger delivers powerful sensations to the clitoris, allowing you to enjoy a whole new spectrum of pleasure.


• The ultimate rabbit vibe for pleasure connoisseurs
• Rises & falls like an expert lover’s fingers
• 10 vibration patterns and with adjustable speeds
• 100% waterproof & rechargeable (2 hours’ use)
• Ultra-smooth, body-safe, all-over silicone design
• 1-year warranty, 10-year quality guarantee
• Insertable length: 110mm/ 4.3in.



The surging motion of the MONA Wave massages your G-spot like a lover’s fingers.



• Contoured design for targeted G-spot massage
• Rises & falls like an expert lover’s fingers
• 10 vibration patterns and with adjustable speeds
• 100% waterproof & rechargeable (2 hours’ use)
• Ultra-smooth, body-safe, all-over silicone design
• 1-year warranty, 10-year quality guarantee
• Insertable length: 110mm/ 4.3in.

All this and guess what? Free holiday shipping, too! The MONA retails for $179, and INA for $199. And yes, they will easily fit in any holiday stocking. Like we said, Oh come let us adore her… G-spot, clitoris, and more!

34 Better (Swedish) Terms for Female Masturbation

December 10th, 2014

photo via WeHeartIt

We’ve long known that the Swedes do pretty much everything better when it comes to sex. They actually believe that comprehensive early sex education is important, and they even have impressively low rates of teen pregnancy and STDs to back up this crazy “theory.” And they even invented a gender neutral pronoun, hen.

But this time, they’ve really outdone themselves. The Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (known as RFSU over there) is holding a national competition to find a better term for female masturbation. “When it comes to masturbation, people mostly think about just men doing it and we don’t think of it as common for women,” says RSFU rep Kristina Ljungros. ”If we don’t have a word in the language, how can we even talk about it?”

And she means a real word, one that respects the act as much as men respect their own me-time — not some old-school term that is steeped in frat-boy humor or sexism or shame (or all three). And the search was specifically for a single word — not a phrase or analogy. The organization first held an open competition seeking nominations, and then narrowed the entries down to the following 34 terms. And it turns out that you don’t need to speak a word of Swedish to appreciate how much better they are than anything currently in vogue…

  1. Pulla
  2. Klittra
  3. Vibba
  4. Fittra
  5. Muffa
  6. Runka
  7. Scrolla
  8. Slirva
  9. Filla
  10. DJ:a
  11. Lippa
  12. Smicka
  13. Jingla
  14. Rilla
  15. Gniffa
  16. Fibba
  17. Hattla
  18. Onka
  19. Glimsa
  20. Fappa
  21. Rappla
  22. Mippa
  23. Viggla
  24. Selfa
  25. Jaxa
  26. Klira
  27. Laba
  28. Mimma
  29. Ryttla
  30. Ponka
  31. Stimla
  32. Klimra
  33. Rullva
  34. Glitsa

The RFSU ultimately narrowed the above list down to five finalists, using feedback from Swedish voters, and will choose the winner from these five — to be announced in June 2015.

1. Klittra
2. Pulla
3. Runka
4. Scrolla
5. Selfa

In the meantime, we thought we’d give you, dear readers — both Swedish and non-Swedish readers alike — the opportunity to vote on your own favorite, from the five finalists:


Wise Guys: When, If Ever, Is Cleavage Unsexy?

December 9th, 2014

photo via Flickr

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: We know that men love boobs, but is there such a thing as too much cleavage? At what point — if any — does it become tacky to guys? Is it all about the situation and context?

Straight Married Guy (Matt): Yes, I guess there’s such a thing as too much cleavage. If I took a date to a wedding and she rolled up with 3/4 of her boobs out, I’d be a little embarrassed (and, okay — it’d probably turn me on at the same time). You see, my inner ape is endlessly fascinated with boobs, and seeing cleavage is always appreciated. But sometimes it’s inappropriate or tacky. I think all guys are a little schizophrenic about this. It’s like, man, that is a ridiculously cheesy outfit… but I wish I could see the rest of those boobs.

Straight Single Guy (Colin): I fall in love all over again with cleavage each day, but I guess when you really get down to it, there are a few specific contexts when it’s time to cover up. The scenarios are hard to distinguish. If you’re meeting my family, it’s a no-go on breast exposure, whereas if you’re meeting my co-workers, it’s totally okay. If we’re going to dinner, take them out, but if it’s Sunday brunch you might want to keep them concealed. If you’re a woman with real class, you’ll always find a way to pull it off. But please, double check with a friend who’s not afraid to hurt your feelings before you try something like J-Lo’s 2000 Grammy dress. Read the rest of this entry »

The Naughty & Nice Issue

December 9th, 2014

‘Tis the season to be sexy. So brush up on your sex etiquette for the holidays with our best festive advice below. This of course includes buying everyone you know our book 150 SHADES OF PLAY, now available as an affordable Kindle E-Book and the print version on sale for under 10 bucks, so you can give everyone a Merry Kinkmas!

What’s the Worst Holiday Present You Ever Received from a Partner?
Can you top reader H? They received an autographed photograph of Garth Brooks… and they’re not even a fan!

Rules for Surviving Your In-Laws This Holiday Season
Take long walks with your partner, let it go if you don’t get to share a bedroom, and much more!

How to Navigate the Crappy Holidays Alone
On counting your blessings and not impulse-shopping for a partner.

What’s a Good Holiday Present for a Man?
Bourbon, blowjobs, and gadgets, oh my! And check out how some of our other Wise Guys answered the question here and then here.

Your Call: Should She Dump Him Before or After Xmas?
Is it heartless to dump someone days before Christmas — or is prolonging the inevitable patronizing and worse?

What Is the Etiquette of Saucy Holiday Gifting?
At what point in a relationship is it acceptable to give a sex-related gift?

Wise Guys: Is a Striptease a Good Last-Minute Gift?
Should you unwrap yourself for your man this holiday season? (If you intend to, here’s how.)

Can I Give a Sex Toy as a Present?
Yes, but… it can’t be just any sex toy.

Wise Guys: Is a Saucy Love Ring a Good Gift for a Dude?
It is a kind of gadget, after all…

LELO’s Pleasure Sets: For Someone Who’s Been Naughty AND Nice
If you’ve met each other’s parents, then we think you’re ready to up the naughty factor a little…

Oops! I Slept with a Co-Worker at the Office Holiday Party!
Because not every kiss under the office mistletoe ends with a Jim-and-Pam-style happy ending.

How Not to Regret Your Holiday Office Party in 4 Easy Steps
Navigating the open bar, the micro-mini dress, and that dreaded Xerox machine.


The 12 Days of Kinkmas
Everybody sing: 3 fetish masks, 2 latex gloves, and a house slave in a gimp suit!


Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $10 Edition
Extremely affordable gifts for every adult on your holiday list (not just sex toys!).


Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $20 Edition
Not just sex toys! Meaning, you’ll find very affordable ideas for every adult on your list.


Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $50 Edition

Give a little more thoughtfully to the adults on your holiday gift list.


Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: $100 Edition
And by “sexy” we mean, sure to please every adult on your gift list.


Em & Lo’s Sexy Holiday Gift Guide: Big Spender Edition

Money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you a pretty ‘effing awesome gift.


A Line-By-Line Take Down of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
Let’s stop kidding ourselves: it’s a date rape song.


150 Shades of Play Is On Sale!!!
Have yourself a merry little kinkmas with this book… the perfect gift for your best friend/partner/sister-in-law/White Elephant party. Now on sale for less than ten bucks! Also in E-book form!

Your Call: Is My Boyfriend Secretly Gay?

December 8th, 2014

photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

Dear Em & Lo,

What are signs that your boyfriend may be secretly gay?

– Beardy

What should Beardy do? Leave your suggestions in the Comments section below.


Your Weekly Horoscopes: The Road Sign Edition

December 8th, 2014

The craziest road sign we’ve ever seen was in San Diego: the black silhouettes of two adults running for their lives, dragging a youngster behind them, all on a yellow, rectangular background. You don’t get many of those in the Northeast. It struck us how effective road signs are: succinct, powerful, instructional, universal, and sometimes entertaining even if you don’t quite understand them (frost heaves, anyone?). And because we occasionally like to whittle your horoscope down to its purist form — behold, The Road Signs.

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
HOV Only

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Falling Rocks Ahead

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Caution: Water On Road During Rain
(That’s a real one, believe it or not: if you think about it, it’s profound in its obviousness.)

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
Last Exit Before Toll

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
Be Prepared To Stop

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
Recreational Area Turnoff

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
Stop When Children In Crosswalk

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
Divided Highway Begins

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
No Stopping Inmates Working

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Lane Ends Merge Left

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
Push Button For Green Light