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An Antidote for Feeling Fifty Shades of Blah in the Bedroom

February 11th, 2015

If the upcoming Fifty Shades movie is making you feel like your own sex life is a little drab in comparison — just a single shade of grey, as it were — then we are prescribing you a dose of the video above, “50 Shades of Pleasure,” made by Trojan with our hilarious director friend Laura Murphy, creator of MTV’s “Girl Code.” This is not your standard issue promotional video; if the ninja part doesn’t make you laugh out loud, then we guess you just have a cold heart (either that, or a troubling personal history with ninjas).

We have long believed in the power of humor to help lower people’s defenses when it comes to the often uncomfortable topic of sex. Most people don’t want to admit that they need help in bed, or that they’re in a rut, or that they might not know as much as the next guy or gal — or even just that their sex life might be a little more fun with a dab of lube and a friendly sex toy. And it’s amazing how many people feel nervous or embarrassed or tongue-tied talking about what they like in bed — even with someone they’ve been sleeping with for years! This is why we always do our best to be funny* when we talk about sex and relationships — it’s the spoonful of sugar that helps the naughty, kinky, dirty sex talk go down. (*Yes, we said try. We realize our eighties pop culture references aren’t for everyone.)

Okay, so now that you’ve watched the video, we’re assuming you’re sweetened up and ready to admit that maybe your sex life isn’t as perfect as it could be. Don’t worry, you’re in a friendly crowd: Recent research found that one in two couples said their sex life could use a booster shot.  And almost 15 percent of women reported that their most recent sexual event involved little to no pleasure or arousal. Ouch!

Happily, Trojan has more up its sleeve than ninja gags and warm fuzzy feelings about your other half. Here are two simple ways to get out of the grey area in bed:


Trojan Lubricants Tonight It Takes 2 To Play

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Lube is not a crutch! For women, natural lubrication doesn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with sexual arousal. She may be ready mentally, but her body could use a little catching up. (Smoking, caffeine, booze, weed, stress, the menstrual cycle, and cold medicine can all diminish a woman’s natural lubricant, too.)  Adding extra lubrication, like Trojan Tonight It Takes 2 To Play, means your sensitive parts can take more stimulation and more kinds of stimulation without getting over-sensitive. Plus, lube helps prevent chaffing and the condom from breaking. Oh, and: Sex with lube just feels good — even better than it does without! Have we convinced you yet? Then check out the dual action of Trojan’s Pre-Game and Game Time lubricants. Again, you’ll be in good company: A study found that more than 80 percent of lubricant users believe lubricants increased the pleasure factor, with nearly 50 percent claiming it helped them achieve an orgasm during their most recent sexual event. Check out Trojan’s entire line of lubricants here.


Trojan Vibrations Vibrating Bullet

Did you know that using a vibrator in bed with a partner is now, basically, mainstream? (If that’s disappointing for you to hear, you may have to break out some fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold, too! Or better yet, a Red Room of Pain.) Yep, it turns out that almost half of all women have used a vibrator with a partner one or more times, and 60 percent of women agree that vibrators can make partner sex more exciting. And the men are hardly sulking, either: 70 percent of them agree that vibrators can enhance a woman’s sexual relationship with her partner. Ready to join the very sexually satisfied majority? The Trojan Vibrations Vibrating Bullet is the perfect gateway drug, as it were: powerful, discreet, and quiet. Be in control or hand over the controls to your partner, depending on your mood! Check out Trojan’s entire line of vibrating sex toys here.


This post is sponsored by Trojan

How to Hardware (Un)Like Christian Grey

February 11th, 2015

The following is an excerpt from the “H” section of our A-Z book, 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink. Every bolded word below indicates an entry in our encyclopedia of sorts. The book is on sale now in both paperback and Kindle form!

A hardware store is a one-stop shopping center for all your BDSM needs. Who needs specialty sex shops when you can find everything at your friendly neighborhood True Value at half the cost? Even Christian I-Fly-My-Own-Helicopter Grey does it, and he could afford freakin’ diamond-encrusted BDSM gear if he wanted. (And how convenient if your potential sub just happens to work at the hardware store — oh, the foreplay possibilities!)

Of course, you’ve got to have a bit of a D.I.Y.-streak, but if you’re willing to put in the extra elbow grease (or should we say Crisco?), you can completely decorate your dungeon or playroom with the following: welded-link chains with “quick links” to aid in adjusting chain lengths; two-by-fours, tubing, and rods of wood, metal, or plastic to create spreader bars; duct tape for bondage (over material only please, to avoid pulling off hair and skin); keyed locks (safer than combo locks which may take too long to undo in an emergency sitch, though not if you’re the type to lose things, like keys); single- or double-ended snap hooks, snap shackles (or “panic snaps”), and carabiners for securing D-rings to other things; eyebolts (not flimsy screw eyes) to anchor chain ends; block and tackle devices for suspension; and miles of natural filament rope for bondage masterpieces.

[More important safety info below the movie clip]!

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

But please, whatever you do, don’t buy cable ties as wrist and ankle restraints like kink “expert” Christian Grey does in the first book of Fifty Shades and in the freaking movie – not only is that bush league, it’s dangerous. The only thing you should be using cable ties for is organizing all your rope.

If your hardware store doesn’t have the high quality and durable materials you’re looking for, try boating or outdoor adventure stores instead.

150 Shades of Grey: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink is on sale now! It contains more information on all the bolded terms above (plus so much more!).


Dear Em & Lo: How Will “Fifty Shades” Affect Young Women?

February 11th, 2015

Dear Em & Lo, 

Have you thought about the effect that this film may have on young girls — how this film will set their expectations as to what sex is like?

– Fifty Shades of Fay


Dear FSoF,

Honestly, we haven’t. We’ve been too distracted by our upcoming ladies night screening of it!

But it’s a great question, and its implications are interesting.

First off, the movie is rated R. Of course this won’t stop people under the age of 17 from seeing it, but we don’t think all adult content should be banned because of the chance that it may get into the hands of some younger people who are not mature enough to process it. Parents and educators have to give their kids guidance about media, talk to them about the distorted fantasies, stereotypes, and violence they’re bombarded with these days. Frankly, we’re much more concerned about the effects hardcore porn has on young people’s perceptions of how sex is supposed to be — something, unfortunately, most kids have been exposed to. (Compared to the stuff they can find online, we’re afraid this film will seem downright quaint to most of them.) Hell, advertising and women’s magazines in the aggregate are much more worrisome than this single movie. Even scarier is the chance that young people will think that, due to its popularity, the Fifty Shades trilogy represents decent writing (we’re only half joking here!).

One of the reasons we’re so looking forward to the movie is to see how (or if) the female director, Sam Taylor-Johnson, a feminist-artist powerhouse, was able — despite author E.L. James’ resistance — to transform the movie into a tale of female strength and empowerment. According to an article in this week’s Time Magazine:

[Taylor-Johnson] thought she saw how to address the troubling power dynamic in the book: give the control to Anastasia. Put her in charge of her own odyssey. “This is the emotional journey of somebody who doesn’t seem as strong as she becomes,” she says. “And by the end of the story, she holds all the power.” Taylor-Johnson wants to reclaim the sexual-submission fantasy for empowered women. “To be a feminist,” she asks, “do you always have to be on top?”

Our answer to that question has always been “No.” Our resident radical feminist, Lo, enjoyed Anne Rice’s original BDSM trilogy The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty…in high school. Our generation also ate up the movie 9 and a Half Weeks as teenagers, and we didn’t become doormats (in fact, we may have learned how NOT to do kink). In our first Em & Lo sex manual, 2003’s The Big Bang, we wrote, “Just because you like to be tied up, spanked, and called ‘bitch’ doesn’t make you a bad feminist.” In our next book, Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen, we wrote the following:

A fantasy may be counterintuitive to the lady or gentleman you present yourself as in society. For instance, a feminist may fantasize about bending over a carburetor dressed in cheesy, scratchy lingerie with her hair teased, sprayed, and back-combed in the tackiest of styles. This is perfectly correct, for one’s fantasies should not be bound by ‘politically correct’ mores. And no, seemingly hypocritical kinks do not necessarily reflect deep-seated repression, neuroses, or issues. As with dreams, fantasies may be inspired by something as shallow as the previous evening’ televisions lineup or that summer’s trashy beach reading (no matter what Freud said).

For a lot of women, the submissive fantasy is an effective one — and you can’t legislate people’s turn-ons, despite the countless attempts made by righteous, religious conservatives (many of whom have secret Red Rooms of Pain in their own basements!). As far as we’re concerned, BDSM and (self)respect are not mutually exclusive. As long as we teach young people how to make smart choices, be as safe as possible, understand the difference between fantasy and reality, respect each other, talk to each other, and elevate sex to a sacred level (even when it’s casual), then it shouldn’t matter if they eventually like to be spanked once in a while.

We’ve always tried in our own small way to be a part of that educational effort. In all our writing about sex and relationships, we’ve endorsed and emphasized comprehensive sex education, open communication, consent, and safety. As far as Fifty Shades goes, we’ve actually written about the ways we hope the film will improve upon all the troubling elements in the book: Christian’s stalkerish abuse, Ana’s total lack of any sexual experience, her lukewarm reaction to kink, her issues with eating, the dirth of well-adjusted kinksters, etc. They’re improvements any viewer would benefit from, whether female or male, straight or gay, old or young. Hopefully the movie delivers, but with James fighting tooth and nail to stick to the original story, warts and all, for the sake of her fans, we’re not holding our breath.

One thing’s for sure, though: there will NOT be enough equal opportunity nudity! More male nudity in movies would go a long way to evening the playing field for women. And not just in the bedroom, but in all areas of life.

Check back here at EMandLO.com next week to see just how good or bad we think the movie turned out  – not just for young people, but for us all.

Laters babe,

Em & Lo



Fifty Shades of Luxury: How to Shop for Toys Like Christian Grey

February 11th, 2015

LELO’s 20-karat gold Luna Beads Luxe | Sponsored Post

One of our theories about why the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy sold so well (despite terrible writing and a thin, derivative plot) is that it’s dripping with wealth. The private jets and the fancy gifts and the luxurious home are like a spoonful of sugar that help the kink go down. It’s the same with sex toys, we’ve found: If a sex toy is a cheap plastic thing costing five bucks, it seems tawdry and dirty. On the other hand, if a vibrator is Swarovski-encrusted and costs a week’s — or a month’s! — wages, then it automatically seems more sophisticated.

But the sex toy snobs are actually onto something, because in the world of vibrators and dildos, you get what you pay for. Sure, those Swarovski crystals aren’t exactly necessary, but if you spend a little extra for a quality sex toy, you’ll be rewarded with something that is (a) good for your body (and not dripping with carcinogens), (b) good for the environment,  (c) pleasant to hold and behold, and (d) actually gets the job done.

So while E.L. James doesn’t name-drop when it comes to sex accoutrements in the book (funny, because she brand-name-drops on every other page!), we’re fairly sure that Christian Grey would go high-end with some of LELO’s fancy-schmancy toys. Here are a few toys we think he’d like, all part of LELO’s Luxe Collection:


Luna Beads Luxe

These are a high-end version of their bestselling Luna Beads, which in turn are LELO’s modern version of the Ben Wa balls that Christian Grey uses on Anastasia Steele. Worn one or two at a time, Luna Beads Luxe are offered in either stainless steel or 20-karat gold, and their price points are pure Christian Grey (stainless steel retails for $2090; gold for $3090). Which makes them (a) the most exclusive pleasure beads in the world and (b) most likely out of your price range! But, hey, every vagina likes to splurge every now and then.

Like LELO’s original Luna Beads ($47) — and their stylish counterpart, Luna Beads Noir ($34, and also very Fifty) — these golden kegel balls (seriously, isn’t it worth the investment just to say you own a pair of golden kegel balls?!) respond to a woman’s movements while she wears them, subtly vibrating internally. And if they’re worn regularly over time, they lead to longer and stronger orgasms. (Hello? Priceless!)

Christian Grey famously told Anastasia that he would like to dictate her gym schedule, in order to keep her in shape for marathon kinky sex sessions. We’re pretty sure he would have assigned her a kegel workout with Luna Beads Luxe, too, had they been available at the time. Possible plot twist for the movie, perhaps? Also, can we all please now agree to show up to the cinema for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie actually wearing our kegel balls? That way we’re guaranteed some pleasure from the experience, no matter how bad the dialogue turns out to be. Not to mention, you get the brag value of being able to drop the following line into casual conversation: I have a vagina of steel.



This is the high-end version of LELO’s classic, silky smooth, pebble-like vibrator the Lily (still one of our favorites!). It comes in stainless steel or 24K gold plate and has a deep and resonant vibe. And the metal surface offers additional sensual benefits against bare skin, for people who like playing around with hot and cold. The Yva is small, discreet, and quiet (just like Ana, ha ha). As LELO says, “Bring her as a discreet guest to the most exclusive gatherings.” It comes in a gorgeous wooden storage box, in case you’re planning on gifting the Ana in your life.



The Olga is LELO’s luxe G-spot pleasure object.  Again, it is crafted in either stainless steel or 24K gold plate, and the metal offers those sensual hot or cold elements against naked bodies. One end is designed to reach and stimulate the G-spot area, while the other end is more old school. Also comes in a wooden box for fancy-pants gift giving.



LELO calls Earl “the most distinguished gentleman’s plug in the world.” Who wouldn’t agree that Christian Grey could use one of those?! It is elegantly sculpted out of stainless steel or 24K gold plate. Because Christian Grey wouldn’t put just anything where the sun don’t shine. The metal is incredibly hygienic and can also be hot or cold against the skin. This luxe plug is designed to offer deep internal stimulation, including male G-spot massage.  LELO says, “Use EARL as you wish, whether it be with a partner for added enjoyment or as a secret companion, worn discreetly.” Oh, and here’s an incentive to gift the Mr. Grey in your life: It comes in an elegant wooden box, and is accessorized with matching cufflinks! The grey tie you’ll have to buy yourself.



The $15,000 Inez (the gold version) is the most exclusive vibrator ever made. Guaranteed to make your other sex toys feel shabby and insignificant! Both the stainless steel and 24K gold-plate versions feature an energetic buzz, and, like all the other luxe toys, the metal offers bonus hot and cold sensations against bare skin. Five pre-programmed stimulation modes and a virtually silent vibrator engine guarantee “discreet yet reassuring company,” to use LELO’s oh-so-classy description.



Top 6 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Badlands)

February 10th, 2015

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed

After such a tepid start, this season of “The Bachelor” has really started delivering on the crazy, thanks in part….okay, all thanks to the evil manipulation of events by the hand-rubbing, mustache-twirling producers. Let’s give the jock the short wedding dress during the mud run competition so she’s sure to win the one-on-one date where Chris can unceremoniously boot her off! Let’s force Chris to ditch his other dates and secretly take the one they’re most jealous of to a concert she won’t even like (but the others would have loved)!  Let’s make Chris keep the two craziest ladies in the house long after he wanted them gone just so he can dump them both in the Badlands and escape via helicopter!  We’d feel pretty morally outraged if we weren’t so shamelessly entertained. With all the choreographed drama this week, there weren’t a lot of obvious love and dating lessons to be gleaned, but somehow we managed. After all, we’re professionals:

  1. Even though it feels like you “won’t ever get over” a breakup (Mackenzie), you will. Especially if you’re only 21. Life goes on, and you will too. The more proactive you are about it, the better.
  2. Just because you’ve never experienced something in the flesh, doesn’t mean your first time with it has to be totally uninformed. Whether you’re an inexperienced kisser, a heterosexual intercourse virgin, or a newbie to the Bend Over Boyfriend Kit, do a little research, read up on some tips and tricks, watch some vids for inspiration, and/or practice by yourself. For example, even though Becca may be a virgin, after a great date with obvious chemistry there’s really no excuse for kissing Chris like somebody’s parents would in front of their little kids.
  3. As soon as you feel overconfident about the security of your relationship, that’s when you should really worry about losing it. Overconfidence breeds selfishness, myopia, and lackadaisical loving — three things that are anathema to a healthy, thriving relationship. The person who thinks they “have this in the bag” often has a big-ass hole in their bag.
  4. When it comes to makeup, less is more. Use a light touch when applying foundation. And, for the love of all that’s holy, do not attempt contouring unless you are a professional makeup artist, otherwise you’ll end up looking like you rubbed dirt all over your face for you’re date (which, if your date was in the dusty Badlands, maybe you did).
  5. If a lot of people, including the person you think you’re going to marry, feel the need to point out certain personality flaws to your face, that’s probably a good time to do some soul searching and life questioning, rather than doubling down on the idea of how perfectly unflawed you are.
  6. As much as we understand the impulse (and enjoy watching the resultant visuals on TV), do not revel in the romantic misfortunes of others, because the exact same fate likely awaits you…and soon. Karma’s a bitch (and so is the Bachelor).


Read up on last week’s love lessons learned from “The Bachelor.” 



10 Simple Steps to “Fiftyize” Your Love Life

February 10th, 2015

Here’s a nifty little 10-step program for introducing BDSM into the bedroom, inspired by our book, 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink:


1. Talk Dirty to Him

Bringing up BDSM with your partner can be shocking and awkward. A great way to test a fantasy is to incorporate it into dirty talk. Whisper in your partner’s ear, ‘What would you think if I did this to you? I would find it so sexy.’


2. Safety First

Physically and emotionally, kink can be heavy, so it’s great for long-term couples who already have built up trust. Still, if there’s going to be bondage and a little struggle, have a safeword other than ‘no.’ It can be ‘red,’ ‘banana’—something you normally wouldn’t say during sex.


3. See No More

S&M is about ceding control, so a good entry point is bringing a blindfold to bed and seeing how you like it. One night, one of you can be the boss; the next night you switch it up. Kink isn’t just sex—it shows you’re really interested in turning each other on and asking each other about your fantasies.


4. Cuff Love

We’re all about working up to things gently. Padded, velcro handcuffs are familiar and easy to use. They’re a way to establish if you might like to move on to more kinky things, like rope ties.


5. Dress the Part

There’s a whole style to kink. Bring in textures like leather, latex, garters, and high heels. Anything you wouldn’t normally wear in bed.

6. Light Biting

When you’re really turned on, pain can feel a lot like pleasure. You don’t have to get a punishing spanking from a Christian Grey–type to get a kick out of pain—sometimes a nibble on the nipple, one single well-timed spank, or a little hair-pulling is all it takes to heighten the sexual tension.


7. The Sound of Music

Music helps drown out the world around you and lets you focus on the pleasure at hand. Try Nine Inch Nails, Muse, Radiohead, The Brazilian Girls, Massive Attack, Marilyn Manson, Prince, Peaches, The Cure, or Kings of Leon.


8. Put a Ring on It

150 Shades of Play tells you about all sorts of S&M, including tamakeri, the Japanese porn fetish of getting kicked in the balls. Of course, if your partner wants you to kick him in the balls, that’s probably not the best first step. Start out with a vibrating ‘love’ ring for his manhood—it’s a little something for both of you.


9. Light My Candle

BDSM temperature play is a scale from ice to candle wax. But be careful to use only plain white candles; scented candles burn too hot. Blow the candle out, test the wax on your hand first, and when it hits the skin, massage it in. Some new candles even melt into massage oil.

10. Toys and Girls

Handing over the controls of your sex toy to your partner suddenly seems a lot more kinky than doing it on your own. Sex toy design has gotten so much better in the last 10 years; it’s a lot more wireless. LELO makes a great, wireless bullet vibrator your partner can use from the other side of the room, or even while you’re taking a bath, as it’s completely waterproof! Other wireless vibrators can be controlled by a cell phone as a way of spicing up a long-term relationship.


This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com.

For more inspired ideas about kinking things up, check out 150 Shades of Play, available from Amazon.com in both paperback and e-book versions! 

How to See the “Fifty Shades of Grey” Movie in Style

February 10th, 2015

In case you couldn’t tell from the onslaught of Fifty Shades posts on our site in the past week, we’re a teensy little bit excited about the Fifty Shades of Grey movie that opens this Friday. It’s not because we loved E.L. James’ book. (We didn’t. Too many inner goddesses doing cartwheels and too much cliched writing.) It’s not because we expect the two stars to have any chemistry on screen. (They clearly don’t.) It’s not even because HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS JAMIE DORNAN HOT. (He absolutely is, but the filmmakers inexplicably ruined it all by giving him a bad haircut in the movie. Who knew it was even possible to make him look unappealing?) And it’s certainly not because we expect to get any decent sex tips from the movie. (That’s what our book is for, duh.)

No, the reason we’re excited is this: What better excuse can you think of to get your drink on with a bunch of lady friends and go giggle at the big screen? And that’s exactly what we plan to do. It will be a much needed respite from the rather bleak selection of Oscar movies this year: Nightcrawler is brilliant but cheerless. Mr. Turner is simply cheerless. The Theory of Everything seems kind of uplifting until you Wikipedia Stephen Hawking and realize how soon he is likely to be suffering from locked-in syndrome. American Sniper is a great movie that made us feel bad about America. Still Alice made us weep. Foxcatcher made us feel funny inside.  (Bad touch! Bad touch!) And so on.

So tell us this: Which of the above movies would be appropriate to see drunk on champagne? Only Fifty Shades of Grey! Which of the above movies would be appropriate to car-pool to in a cheesy white stretch limo that is more commonly hired for local proms? Only Fifty Shades of Grey! Which of the above movies warrants you getting dressed up and teasing your hair big like you’re actually attending one of those local proms? Yep, you got it: Fifty Shades of Grey.

And this is exactly what we plan on doing this Friday, February 13th. Yes, we’re serious about the stretch. Our husbands think we’re nuts, but they just don’t understand. Sure, this could be a painful viewing experience, but as the inimitable E.L. James wrote: “There’s a very fine line between pleasure and pain. They are two sides of the same coin, one not existing without the other.”

So get your tickets in advance (they’re selling out), rent the limo, and get your girlie drink on without shame!


Your Fifty Shades ‘Scopes

February 9th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, you’re ‘scopes are all shades of grey. 

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
You might have and Audi R8 Sypder, a closet full of custom-made Italian clothes, and your own helipad, but it means nothing if you’re emotionally bankrupt. This week, think: less image, more soul.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
The coy, naive, virginal act might work for Anastasia Steele, but on you, it rings false. Own your own sexuality and take matters into your own hands this week.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
We’re all for a little liquid courage to loosen inhibitions a bit, but not to the point of inebriation and impaired thinking. So when out and about pursuing romantic interests this week (or any week, really), don’t get wasted like Ana, and don’t get date-rapey like Jose.

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
Have an open mind about matters of the heart (and matters of the bedroom), but don’t do anything that brings you to tears, unless they’re tears of joy.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
This week might be a good time to hide out in your playroom — and we are talking about the one with your Xbox and stuff.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
The mysterious, vague, and emotionally distant act might work on Christian Grey, but on you, it’s just kind of annoying. Communicativeness, emotional availability, a sense of humor — those are the truly hot qualities that will work for you this week.

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
When springing for sex toys for your own Red Room of Pain (or just your Valentine’s Weekend bedroom), don’t scrimp. Splurge like you’re Christian Grey. That kind of smart investment will yield high, sexy dividends.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
It’s time for you to take this relationship of yours, bend it over your knee, and give it a good spanking. You know, shake things up! (With consent, of course!)

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
We know you don’t usually do romance. But this week? Just do it.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
If you exercise control in all things, then Ana’s right: you’re probably pretty boring. Let go a bit, loosen up, and make yourself vulnerable. In other words, let your partner tie you up for a change.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
If your partner tries to shame your shameless enjoyment of trashy erotica, it’s either time for a breakup or a couple’s counselor. If they’re supportive, then pay them back with a little erotica-inspired role-playing. If you don’t have any erotica, then now’s as good a time as any to jump on the bawdy bandwagon.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
Don’t sign any relationship contracts this week. You don’t want to make any commitments you can’t keep (like being someone’s sex slave).


The Best Last Minute Valentine’s Day Present This Year!

February 9th, 2015

Here are the top 10 reasons why our book 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink — now also available in a discreet Kindle edition! – makes the best Valentine’s Day present this year:

  1. It gives you the great excuse to try something new in the bedroom — perfect for longterm couples on Valentine’s Day.
  2. It also has staying power. The perspectives it can give you on kinky sex can inspire your sex lives for years to come. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
  3. It’s timely and relevant. We’re pretty sure even Kurdish fighters know that the Fifty Shades movie is opening this weekend. Our book helps put such a huge cultural phenomenon into perspective, in a way that’s fun and flirty (and actually well written).
  4. It helps round out a nice gift basket of treats for Valentine’s Day: chocolates for your sweetie’s sweet tooth, tickets to the Fifty Shades movie for some eye candy, roses for romance, and 150 Shades of Play for playtime! (Way better than some ill-fitting lingerie they’ll never wear.)
  5. Even if your partner doesn’t love it, you can pass it off as a gag gift that makes a great bathroom book. Just turn to the entry on  pony-play!
  6. The lighthearted tone of 150 Shades of Play takes some of the pressure off of you two to perform (unlike the gift of, say, a strap-on dildo).
  7. It’s a great way to give your partner hints about what you’d like to try…just happen to leave a bookmark or post-it next to a section that catches your interest, then leave the book on their pillow/night-stand. Or just get the book for yourself, read up on some tips and techniques before Valentine’s Day, and then wow your luvva with your amazing new moves!
  8. Not only can it improve your sex life, it can improve your social life! You can enliven future cocktail parties with some of the trivia you’ll learn from 150 Shades of PlayDid you know that we get the term “masochist” from Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch, the author of the 1870 novel Venus in Furs? Both he and his main character got off on being degraded by dominant women wearing fur. And that’s one to grow on!
  9. It’s affordable!  Especially on Kindle! You get so much — 230 pages of well-researched history, fascinating cultural information, good sexual advice, precise technical instruction, cool illustrations, and side-splitting humor (basically everything that wasn’t in Fifty Shades) — for so little: dollars less, in fact, than what 8 measly pieces of Godiva chocolates costs! Less even than a single movie ticket in most of this country!
  10. Not only will you be giving your partner/friend/friend-with-benefits a great gift, you’ll be giving us a gift too: By buying our book, you will literally help keep this site up and running. So won’t you please be our Valentine?

150 Shades of Play is available on Amazon.com, in either a gorgeous glossy paperback or a discreet Kindle edition. Visit 150ShadesOfPlay.com for more information about our book, including excerpts and praise from actual celebrities.