The latest luxury product from our friends at LELO — and this one is no joke! — is a high-end version of their bestselling Luna Beads. Worn one or two at a time, Luna Beads Luxe are offered in either stainless steel or 20-karat gold, and their price points are pure Christian Grey (stainless steel retails for $2090; gold for $3090). Which makes them (a) the most exclusive pleasure beads in the world and (b) most likely out of your price range! But, hey, every vagina likes to splurge every now and then.
Like LELO’s original Luna Beads ($47) — and their stylish counterpart, Luna Beads Noir ($34) — these golden kegel balls (seriously, isn’t it worth the investment just to say you own a pair of golden kegel balls?!) respond to a woman’s movements while she wears them, subtly vibrating internally. And if they’re worn regularly over time, they lead to longer and stronger orgasms. (Hello? Priceless!)
Christian Grey famously told Anastasia that he would like to dictate her gym schedule, in order to keep her in shape for marathon kinky sex sessions. We’re pretty sure he would have assigned her a kegel workout with Luna Beads Luxe, too, had they been available at the time. Possible plot twist for the movie, perhaps? Also, can we all please now agree to show up to the cinema for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie actually wearing our kegel balls? That way we’re guaranteed some pleasure from the experience, no matter how bad the dialogue turns out to be.
In LELO’s own words, Luna Beads Luxe “offer a daring and tantalizing look into a world that knows no limits. A world where innermost desires are created, pursued and ultimately achieved. Worn one or two at a time, the 20-karat gold beads vibrate in harmony with the wearer’s movements, rewarding her choice to indulge this secret fantasy. As the most luxurious addition to foreplay, this beautiful set is the ultimate expression of one’s innermost fantasies.” The set is part of LELO’s Luxe Collection, which also includes the $15,000 Inez, the most exclusive vibrator ever made. (Guaranteed to make your other sex toys feel shabby and insignificant!)
Here’s what you get for your money with the Luna Beads Luxe:
• A Discreet Taste of Luxury for Sensational Couples’ Play
• Limitless Versatility for Fun Inside and Outside the Bedroom
• 2 x 47g Beads with Soft Silicone Girdle
• 2-year Warranty and 10-year Guarantee
Not to mention the brag value of being able to drop the following line into casual conversation: I have a vagina of steel.