We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
My boyfriend’s penis is too big, he’s really tall and I’m really short. My vagina is also small. Almost everytime we have sex I bleed. I feel like he is touching my cervix and it hurts. The sex is great, but I haven’t been able to have an orgasm since we started to see each other and have sex. I already have kids, so it should be easier for me. He tells me he doesn’t feel much when we have sex because I bleed so much and makes it very slippery. I don’t know what to do. Should we just break up?
— Little Miss Can’t Get Off
Seeking professional medical opinions on such a matter is always advised. However, please remember, your average vagina has an average baby come out of there… around 7 lbs, 11 ounces, between US, South America and Africa. As such, it is meant to be capable of adjustment. Once your gynecologist assures there is nothing wrong and no damage, there are things you can try to improve intercourse:
1] Tantric Sex. The body awareness and vaginal awakening exercises can help you learn to elongate the vaginal canal, and aid you both in attuning your bodies together for improved physical sexual function. There are also meditative techniques which were designed to help not only delay orgasm but increase the exchange of sexual energy between partners, making sure he engages your orgasmic potential in a myriad of new ways.
2] New positions. A clinical sexologist would be better able to give you details on which ones could aid in this function; better to get it from a professional than an enthusiastic student. Stroke skills and My Tiny Secrets.com specialize in techniques which can help a man learn to control and hit specific areas of a woman’s vagina more effectively…. though they usually have the OPPOSITE problem. Either way, it’s worth checking out your online options as well.
3] May sound extreme, but hear me out… building up to fisting. Yes, it is a scary prospect, I know, but again, recall normal vaginal elasticity; if adjusting to fit his member is the problem, the techniques used by average practitioners to prepare for that depth of insertion may serve to make you more accessible for his penis.
These are just some suggestions, but they may be worth looking into
Good luck
I have experienced same issue. Although my vagina doesn’t bleed I do have light spotting sometimes during or after sex with him. Although I do get wet his size prevents me from actually orgasming. I haven’t mentioned anything as I am experimenting different positions on my own…and I can’t address the issue as I would uncover the fact that I’ve fake gasmed. But so far being on top helps as u control how much u take and when he goes slow it helps. I just haven’t figured out how to really “get mines”.
“… He tells me he doesn’t feel much when we have sex because I bleed so much …” Are u JOKING? Yes you should leave him immediately because he must be a PSYCHO! This is incredibly insensitive. It seems like if size were the issue you would feel good and snug to him. If you really must stay with him though I would tell you that once you’ve been to the doc and gotten things resolved there you should try having sex in different positions. He’s probably the kind of man I call a “cervix poker”–this is when a man’s penis is just the right shape, length and angle to constantly be gunning for your cervix. Ouch! Keep your dialog open and tell him to stop the minute you feel pain or start to bleed. When you’re ready to continue experiment w different positions and try not letting him thrust in so deep. A loving partner is attentive to your needs and unless he’s a sadist will not be able to enjoy himself knowing he’s hurting or damaging you.
Good point, guys, we probably should have addressed the bleeding issue ourselves — yes, you should definitely ask a gynecologist if you consistently bleed during sex. But we wanted to publish this letter (which we believe is real; we get a lot of trolling emails and this reads very differently) so that our readers could see that bigger isn’t always better. In fact, sometimes too big is even more problematic than too small. If intercourse is important to you, and a guy is just too big for intercourse to be pleasurable, then we’re guessing the size would, in fact, be a deal-breaker. And yes, we learned that from watching Magic Mike 2.
I agree with Johnny and Greg this is a medical matter !
I agree with Johnny. Bleeding due to sex should not happen, no matter how big he is. If you haven’t already, please for the love of God go see your gynecologist asap!
This is one for your gynecologist. Your vagina shouldn’t bleed during sex not matter how big he is.
This has to be a troll question. Surely no one would think bleeding was normal!?!?