How Do You Know When a Relationship Is Ending?

Our friend Carrie asked us this question recently — for her, she says she knows the end is nigh when she starts feeling more self-conscious and uncomfortable around the guy. For her friend, it’s when she loses interest in PDA with the partner. How about you: What are your personal tell-tale signs that a relationship is winding down? Post your answers in the comments section below.

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44 Comments on "How Do You Know When a Relationship Is Ending?"

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5 years 4 months ago

I am going through a 18 year breakup. He does not have time for me. Thare is always an excuse. He up and kicked me out aftr 15 years. He then started seeing a girl he works with. We still see each other but he does not call me like he used to, makes up excuses, never sees me and always expects sex, different sex than what we used have. Does not ever offer to spend time with me.

5 years 4 months ago

My ex and i lived in two different states. i missed him terribly and we saw each other every couple of months but the first time he came here i wasnt as excited and i thought i should be. and i knew then something was wrong. i stopped wanting to call him as much and its like we faded away from each other.

5 years 4 months ago

is it over r did it ever realy start think about it was it a fling are puppy love trust me i have been married three times and the first two times it never realy started could not see it then but now that i have met the love of my life i know for shore that the others was like a realy long fling but this is how u know that its ending and that is when they put the love of ur life in the ground and if thats not how it ended then it never began

Madamoiselle L
5 years 7 months ago

@ Hopelessly Single when you even have an INKLING that he’s married, it should be over! (i.e. have a “long distance” relationship and realizing he lives in the same town.)

Lauren, I think it depends how old you are. If you are in your teens or early 20s, and he’s doing this, it’s pretty normal, if you are in your 30s or older, and he’s *always* choosing his buds over you, he’s a boy/man and probably will never grow up. By 30 or so most grown ups have paired up, (not all, but most) and see their friends much less frequently. Again, your mileage may vary. Trying to get a commitment out of a guy, over 30 or not, who is just not ready, or doesn’t feel this is THE relationship, is an exercise in futility. You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do, not well.

That being said ALL men and women need their same sex friends. Even in a long term relationship. As for “mutual commitment” is should never be assumed. It’s something you both have to agree to, verbally. DO NOT assume “we’re committed and monogamous” unless it has been discussed.

5 years 7 months ago

Yes, Lauren, you are over-reacting. Lay off his friend-time unless you want some serious resentment to set in.