Question of the Week: Do You Fantasize About Other People During Sex?

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Do you ever fantasize about other people during sex with your partner? Does it depend on the relationship (casual vs. long-term)? How often do you think it is acceptable to do this? Do you ever tell your partner that you do this, or is it better to keep this sort of fantasy private? And what sort of people do you fantasize about? (Exes, celebrities, acquaintances, etc.)

Leave your response in the comments section below (feel free to share your age, gender, relationship status, etc., if it’s relevant to your answer).

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10 Comments on "Question of the Week: Do You Fantasize About Other People During Sex?"

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Usually, no. Usually I am so into the moment with the man I’m with, how he feels, how he sounds, how he looks, that I don’t need to fantasize about anyone else. Reveling in the moment with a man and truly enjoying it makes it unnecessary for me to think of anyone else in the middle of sex. I did, however, say “usually.” While with a particular ex who was just outright HORRIBLE in bed, I did fantasize about another man. In fact, I wished so badly for him to be this other guy that I nearly cried mid-sex. Who… Read more »
i tried to but couldn’t do it. I felt too bad and too wrong. But this is also why I prefer to stay single and just remain sexless. This way I can fantasize all I want by myself without worrying of being with someon and if he is fantasizing about someone else. I want the same respect, If I dont do it and think its wrong then I want someone im with to be the same. When I do fantasize tho its always, as Im told, too common. The date, the first kiss, getting to know one another (even conversations)… Read more »
DJ Osiris
No, I will not do this. And no, I am not bullshitting. This is something that I just don’t do and I don’t know why a person would do it, unless you really feel you shouldn’t have slept with that individual you’re with in the first place. If that’s the case, why then would you want to stick around??? That doesn’t make much sense to me. Wouldn’t you be better off just saying, “Look, I’m just not feeling you” and move on??? I don’t sleep with women I’m not into. It’s just not me. So when I’m with a woman,… Read more »

Johnny, maybe just all the people who do fantasize aren’t writing about it. But given the open, the commenters here really have no reason to BS, and since we’re all giving basically the same reasons for not fantasizing about others during sex, I find it more than believable. Maybe the way we think other people have sex, and the way we actually have sex, are skewed from one another. Oh, wait–that’s almost always the case.


4 out of 5 respondents claim to rarely or never fantasize about other people during sex?

I don’t buy it. Someone is BS’ing.


I’ll fantasize about other people all I want during self-loving time regardless of my relationship status. Sex with someone else is different though. If I’m in a long term relationship or dating or sex with someone I’m really into – fanasizing about someone else is more distracting (in a not effective way) than anything else.
However, if it is sex with someone I’m just causally with, I’ll do it.


My imagination is usually vivid as hell, but if I’m sexing a partner my thought rarely strays from him. Unless I have a crush on someone else. I don’t think there is a right or wrong here as long as you don’t do it constantly and/or for long periods of time, then you might wanna think about why you are with the one you are fucking.