Foreplay is not an obligatory two minutes of making out, it’s not purely physical, it’s not a routine that automatically earns you intercourse, it’s not just for women, and it doesn’t always have to be candle-lit (though florescent overhead lights are never seductive). The idea is to free foreplay it’s traditionally narrow definition. Think of it more as seduction; it can take all day, if not days – or it can just take a look. Here are five examples of what foreplay can (and should) be:
1 Slowing down time, cultivating the senses and setting a sex-conducive scene – think music, wine, a bubble bath, Chinese take-out on the best china — and yes, candles.
2 Sharing a kinky secret over dinner (e.g., Did I ever tell you how much it turns me on when … )
3 Giving a gift that makes you both blush.
4 Sending a text message at noon with explicit instructions for that evening (e.g., be home @ 7, b showered & naked on bed & I will [insert your own dirty promise].)
5 Three words: Full. Body. Massage.
A tip about seduction: Making and keeping sex special is not impossible, as long as you make time for seduction and accept that it won’t always come naturally. But just because something takes a bit of effort doesn’t mean it’s out of place in the bedroom. If seduction feels “silly,” then it’s probably because you’re not doing it often enough. In the beginning, you yearn and you’re driven to seduce; later, you seduce so that you can yearn again. At first, you seduce in order to entice someone into your bedroom; later, you seduce to remind that person why he or she is there. You’d be a fool to take someone’s presence in your bed for granted at any time — seduce deliberately and with good intentions, and you’ll show that you don’t.
As his personal cartographer and muse, I provide a full body massage for him whenever I see him. He’s beginning to understand how much it does for me, too.