To count down to the Sundance Film Festival, we’re blogging about some of our favorite movie moments in the festival’s history. We’ve covered the Top 10 Lessons in Love, Top 10 Lessons in Young Love and the Top 10 Oddest Couples. This week, we’re featuring the movie moments that make you feel funny in a bad way, make you squirm in your seat, give you second-hand embarrassment or leave you holding your knees rocking back and forth saying “No” over and over.
- Clerks: Don’t you hate it when you mistake a corpse for your boyfriend and end up having sex with it in a darkened convenience store bathroom?
- Black Snake Moan: The moral of the story: Chaining a young, skimpily dressed, drug addicted, abuse victim to your radiator against her will in order to cure her of her raging nymphomania is the right thing to do. Jesus would be proud.
- Spanking the Monkey: Five words for you: sex with your own mother. Ew!!!! (And with a title like that, it’s not exactly Oedipus.)
- Downloading Nancy: It’s a psycho-sadomasochistic love story: she wants to die and he’s willing to help. See, Internet personals really do work! (Now we’re just waiting for the film version of that German cannibal who, via the Internet, found, killed and ate his willing victim…after they had sex and then tried to dine on his dismembered penis together — any festival submissions yet? No?).
- Teeth: Your first time should be special, romantic, and, most of all, consensual. If it’s not, then you have every right to bite off your assaulter’s penis with your sharp vagina dentata.