Comments
Comment of the Week
Should You Ask Out a Coworker? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself First

The following is a very thoughtful, thorough response to our post “Should He Hit on a Coworker?” from reader Barbara Arthur, a self-proclaimed “middle-aged female who used to work in career-oriented management positions but now chooses to work ‘just a regular job’ because she thinks management jobs suck (so thinks she can offer various perspectives).” […]

Comment of the Week
3 Rules to Follow When Buying a Sex Toy for Your Girlfriend/Wife

MILC had some good advice for straight men looking to surprise their girlfriends with a sex toy gift for the first time: Avoid those huge toy makers that put porn stars on the boxes. You want something that’s easy on the eyes, comes in nice, inoffensive packaging, and is high quality. So anything by Fun […]

Confessions
My Kung Fu Is Strong Against Your Pro-Polyamory Arguments

We have two companion posts, one called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous,” the other called “Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — NON-Monogamous.” We intended each as encouragement for those people who prefer to be in their particular kind of relationship, not as indictments of one another. But home-team loyalty runs […]

Confessions
Don’t Call Yourself a Slut

Reader “Don” had this to say in response to our post “How Many Partners Officially Makes You a Slut?” While we can see the benefits of reclaiming the word and wearing it as a badge of honor, we also appreciate, like Don, the importance of not using it any self-denigrating way, however subtly: Once, a close friend described […]

Confessions
Size Does Not Correlate with Pleasure

We can never resist a feel-good, body-positive, you-go-boy! comment. This one is from Olatunji in response to the article “My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me“: The size is not what matters. The smaller organ has a much greater erectile capacity than the larger one. The size of the flaccid […]

Confessions
Why Some Men Aren’t Interested in Women’s Pleasure

Jenny Bean had a thoughtful (and somewhat depressing) response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm“: I think society tells us girls early in life that we shouldn’t want sex, sex is bad. Girls that do like sex or God forbid have a sex drive [are] slu**s, who**s, etc. Men […]

Confessions
Sometimes You Just Have to Walk Away from a Marriage Over Sex

BigDudesStealMonkeys had a very thoughtful response to a vanilla woman married to a secretly kinky (and cheating) husband: I have a daughter, and I would be happy with her doing anything that made HER happy. If that’s BDSM, then so be it. Some people enjoy that type of playful sex, and who the hell are […]

Confessions
Is Rape Natural?

Sometimes a reader comment demands more than just a “thumbs down” or a two-sentence rebuttal.  Sometimes it warrants its own full-length post. J Male’s recent response to “Why Women Have Ravishment and Rape Fantasies” was one such comment. Our reply is below his: “Rape fantasies were a way [for women] to avoid taking blame for their […]

Confessions
The Best Butt Sex Philosophy: Your Booty, Your Business

Chuck is our kind of guy. In fact, he’s the kind of guy we’re hoping to create more of with this here site and all its post on anal play. He recently commented on one — “Do Most Straight Men Secretly Love Bum Play?” — and made us proud: I’m married, straight, and really like it! If […]

Confessions
What to Say to a Partner Who Wants to Get Kinkier Than You Do

Reader bklynbug said the following in response to our post “Your Call: He’s Kinky, She’s Vanilla, Is the Relationship Doomed?” One word: dialog. You say he’s mentioned it a few times, but it doesn’t sound like the two of you have really sat down and talked. Seriously. Clothes on, at the kitchen table, cards all […]

How To
6 Ways to Address Waning Sex in a Relationship

Today’s Comment of the Week comes from two different readers who had such wise advice on the topic of one partner’s decreasing libido in a fairly new relationship, we combined them into a top 5 list!:  [From “J”] It is normal for passion and sex to decrease as a relationship progresses. Our bodies and brains […]

Confessions
Having Secret Fantasies in a Relationship Is Natural & Normal

Matt, one of our best commenters, took issue with reader Jo’s claim — made in response to “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” — that fantasizing about someone other than your partner during sex is “a bit rapey”: Jo, you’re taking things that are well within the spectrum of what most people would call […]

Confessions
Is It “Rapey” to Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?

Reader Jo said the following in response to our post, “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” For the record, not all Comments of the Week are opinions we agree with. And in this case in particular, we definitely don’t agree with the idea that fantasizing about someone else during […]

Confessions
How to Know When to Invite a New Partner to Thanksgiving

In response to Your Call: Why Didn’t He Invite Me to Thanksgiving?, Natalia encourages everyone to get into the holiday spirit:  I think that mostly of us are forgetting one very important detail: We are talking about a person who will spend the Thanksgiving day ALONE. Many commenters have said “Well, it would be weird to invite someone too soon,” or […]

Confessions
Why You Shouldn’t Judge Spelling Mistakes in an Online Dating Profile

Reader Derek said the following in response to the post, “Red Flags for Women Who Use Personals (& How to Avoid Them)”. Though we didn’t write this piece, we did choose to publish it, and we never considered the implications of judging someone’s grammar and spelling mistakes on an online dating site. Which is kind of […]

Advice
37 Signs Your Relationship Is About to End

We once asked our readers, “How do you know when a relationship is about to end?” Looking back over the replies, we realized that, as a whole, their answers make a pretty good guide to impending doom. Here are our 37 favorite responses: 1. “When I hate to see the man eat, I know things […]