Communication
How To
5 Fixes for Saying the Wrong Name in Bed

Dear Em & Lo,  I like this man so much. But I called him my ex’s name when he was going down on me and I wasn’t even thinking of my ex or anything! I was with my ex for 2 years and this guy 3 months. I’m done with my ex but the new […]

Confessions
What to Say to a Partner Who Wants to Get Kinkier Than You Do

Reader bklynbug said the following in response to our post “Your Call: He’s Kinky, She’s Vanilla, Is the Relationship Doomed?” One word: dialog. You say he’s mentioned it a few times, but it doesn’t sound like the two of you have really sat down and talked. Seriously. Clothes on, at the kitchen table, cards all […]

Confessions
Having Secret Fantasies in a Relationship Is Natural & Normal

Matt, one of our best commenters, took issue with reader Jo’s claim — made in response to “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” — that fantasizing about someone other than your partner during sex is “a bit rapey”: Jo, you’re taking things that are well within the spectrum of what most people would call […]

How To
20 Questions to Shake Up Your Long-Term Relationship (in a Good Way)

by Sean Jameson for YourTango When you feel like you don’t have anything in common anymore, it’s nice to learn something new. Relationships can get boring if they stay perpetually on the same track. When both of you expect the same activities, same foods, same conversations and so on, even the most committed may begin to look elsewhere for […]

How To
15 Things You Can Change About Your Sex Life

A few weeks back, we told you about six things you can’t change about your sex life, and we encouraged an attitude of serenity and acceptance. But luckily there are plenty of things that you can change about your sex life, too! Here are fifteen to get you started… 1. Your sexual IQ. Bodies don’t come […]

How To
How These 8 Preschool Skills Can Improve Your Love Life

A recent article in the Times explained why the social and sharing skills that you learn in preschool help you succeed in the workplace — and probably more so than any of the test-taking skills you learn later on in your school life. Reading that piece, we realized that the exact same thing could be […]

Wise Guys
Do Men Snoop On Their Partners As Much As Women?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do men snoop on their partners? (E.g. reading their texts or emails when they’re in the shower, listening in on phone calls, etc.)” Ask the guys your own question here. Straight Single Guy (Colin): Unless it’s an emergency situation, we just don’t want […]

How To
5 Super Nice Ways to Say “You’re Not Good in Bed”

Sex is so easy, even chickens with pea-sized brains can do it. (Speaking of: If you’re looking for a hilarious and enlightening post about how, exactly, chickens do it, go here. You’re welcome. Em has a coop in her backyard with eleven hens and one very lucky rooster, and even she learned something.) But if sex is […]

How To
When Anger Is Helpful in a Relationship…And When It’s Not

Count to ten before you speak, we’re often told, especially when fighting with a partner. Take a deep breath and remember you’re talking to someone you love, the advice goes. Being angry means you’ve lost control, the theory goes. But is there ever a time when you shouldn’t count to ten — when a little anger […]

Books
5 Terms Every Parent Should Add to Their Sex-Ed Vocabulary

Cory Silverberg is elevating in-home sex-ed to an art form, one kick-ass book at a time. His first kids’ book on reproduction, called WHAT MAKES A BABY (for preschoolers through 2nd-graders), combines inclusive language, helpful descriptions, and bright, bold and beautiful illustrations by Fiona Smyth (that get us all nostalgic for “Free to Be You and Me“) […]

Say Amything
Why You Love Who You Love

The following is the 6th installment of a hilarious ongoing series by author and squirrel hunter Amy Bronwen Zemser called “How to Thaw Your Unborn Child.” Start at the beginning here or just jump right in below: All you need to know is that she was married to a man, realized she was gay, got divorced, fell for a woman named Moira (who dumped her after Moira had […]

How To
7 Ways EVERYONE Can Be More Chivalrous (Without Being Sexist)

Treating each other well is a practice BOTH sexes should embrace! When was the last time you felt completely appreciated — the kind of appreciation that leaves no doubt about how fully gorgeous/handsome, dating someone who makes you feel like that (deeply appreciated) is incredibly special … and arousing. And sorry, today’s “no emotions involved,” hit-it-and-quit-it “hook […]

How To
Oral Sex Etiquette: 12 Golden Rules for Going Down

The following list of tips is intended for both women and men: The golden rule of manners as it pertains to dining downtown is this: consider it the equivalent of a free meal at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. It’s a sheer delight simply to be there! So act like it. When the best chefs in […]

Confessions
You Don’t Have to Walk on Eggshells Around a Guy with a Small Penis

A really interesting conversation took place recently in the comments section of our post, “Is It Okay to Use a Vibrator That’s Bigger Than My Boyfriend?” In situations like this, we always tend to advise readers toward kindness, and also to letting the guy take the lead in terms of dildo size. But a reader named Jon […]

Comment of the Week
8 Ways to Get Him to Focus on YOUR Orgasm for a Change

The following excellent advice from “CaspianC” came in response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm.” We’ve taken the liberty of editing it ever-so slightly into an easy-to-read list (our additions are in brackets).  I was in the same situation. Well, it’s an ongoing issue, but it’s getting better. […]

Dear Em & Lo
My Boyfriend Is Always Too Tired for Sex

To ask Em & Lo your own advice question, click here. Dear Em and Lo, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. A few months ago we took a break and I moved out. I was really having a great time, but he showed up with roses and tears promising everything […]