Having Secret Fantasies in a Relationship Is Natural & Normal

Matt, one of our best commenters, took issue with reader Jo’s claim — made in response to “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” — that fantasizing about someone other than your partner during sex is “a bit rapey”: Jo, you’re taking things that are well within the spectrum of what most people would call […]

Wise Guys
Do Straight Guys Imagine Having Sex with Every Woman They See?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Does every guy see a woman and immediately assess whether or not he’d want to have sex with her? And if he would want to have sex with her, does that mean she automatically becomes a part of his masturbatory fantasies?” Straight […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: How to Tell Your Husband It’s Okay to Ravish You (a Little)

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  Dear Em & Lo, I’m just about as […]

How To
3 Easy(ish) Steps to Sharing a Fantasy with a Partner

Sharing a fantasy with a partner can be a cheap and easy way to foster intimacy, build trust, and kink things up. But it takes a lot of courage to do. What if you think yours is too mundane to put into words (remember Meg Ryan’s faceless stranger fantasy in When Harry Met Sally?). Or what […]

Why I Told My Boyfriend He Could Marry My Daughter

Something’s Gotta Give: Jack Nicholson chooses mother over daughter Reader Momma wrote the following in response to our post, “Your Call: When Your Partner’s Fantasies Are Seriously Disturbing.” Before leaping to judgment, dear readers, consider this: The couple below can talk about anything. They trust each other completely, and this has led to them being completely […]

How to Live a Complete Life Without Sex

photo via WeHeartIt Dear Em & Lo, I’m 34 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I was molested as a child and raped as an adult. I’ve never had consensual sex. Yet I have intensely sexual dreams. I’ve had years of counseling, but the fear of having a sexual relationship remains. I isolate myself from […]

How To
How to Make Your Ravishment Fantasy Come True

There is perhaps no sexual fantasy that disturbs people more than the rape fantasy.  Even people in committed, loving relationships who have successfully navigated such a fantasy with massive amounts of communication and trust can feel weird about it. Readers often ask us, “What’s wrong with me that I’m into this?” Well, as we have […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: What Do Men Think About When They Masturbate?

photo via flickr Advice from three of our guy friends. A while back, one woman wanted to know “Why do men masturbate in relationships, even when the sex is good and regular?” In his response, Max (one of our Single Straight Guys) said, “Trust me: You don’t want to do the things that we’re thinking […]

Dream Interpretation
My Fiance Bit Me Like a Vampire in His Sleep

Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri: I am big into pain while having sex, and I am also into vampires. My fiance and I live together and he knows about […]

How to Make Your Sexual Fantasy Come True

photo via flickr Last week we published two excerpts from Tracey Cox’s new book Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. (Tracey’s Dare product range is also available at LoveHoney.) The first excerpt explained how fantasizing can improve your relationship, and the second was the hilarious/cringe-inducing/enlightening/still kind of hot […]