Fantasies
How To
The 10 Best Couples Costumes to Repurpose for Roleplaying

What is forbidden in the real world can sometimes make for a fun romp between consenting adults (who’ve explicitly outlined their boundaries and agreed on a safe word). It’s called roleplaying, and there are two components that can really help you get into character: 1) the right outfits, and 2) a backstory with emotional tension, […]

Advice
The Meanings — and Myths! — of Rape Fantasies

[Editors note: FYI, we at EMandLO.com prefer the term “ravishment fantasy” to further distinguish it from actual rape, since the difference has everything to do with the control Dr. Ley describes below. However, since this is a syndicated column, we’ll keep the original language in tact.] by Dr. David Ley for YourTango One of the hardest presentations I’ve ever given […]

Polls
Poll: What’s Your Favorite Fantasy?

There are popular themes that come up again and again in people’s fantasies. We’re curious if they figure in your dirty thoughts. We created two polls, one for ladies and, below that, one for men. If your favorite fantasy isn’t listed here, let us know what it is in the comments below! Check back later […]

How To
5 Fixes for Saying the Wrong Name in Bed

Dear Em & Lo,  I like this man so much. But I called him my ex’s name when he was going down on me and I wasn’t even thinking of my ex or anything! I was with my ex for 2 years and this guy 3 months. I’m done with my ex but the new […]

Confessions
Having Secret Fantasies in a Relationship Is Natural & Normal

Matt, one of our best commenters, took issue with reader Jo’s claim — made in response to “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” — that fantasizing about someone other than your partner during sex is “a bit rapey”: Jo, you’re taking things that are well within the spectrum of what most people would call […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: How to Tell Your Husband It’s Okay to Ravish You (a Little)

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  Dear Em & Lo, I’m just about as […]

How To
3 Easy(ish) Steps to Sharing a Fantasy with a Partner

Sharing a fantasy with a partner can be a cheap and easy way to foster intimacy, build trust, and kink things up. But it takes a lot of courage to do. What if you think yours is too mundane to put into words (remember Meg Ryan’s faceless stranger fantasy in When Harry Met Sally?). Or what […]

Confessions
Why I Told My Boyfriend He Could Marry My Daughter

Something’s Gotta Give: Jack Nicholson chooses mother over daughter Reader Momma wrote the following in response to our post, “Your Call: When Your Partner’s Fantasies Are Seriously Disturbing.” Before leaping to judgment, dear readers, consider this: The couple below can talk about anything. They trust each other completely, and this has led to them being completely […]

Advice
How to Live a Complete Life Without Sex

photo via WeHeartIt Dear Em & Lo, I’m 34 and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I was molested as a child and raped as an adult. I’ve never had consensual sex. Yet I have intensely sexual dreams. I’ve had years of counseling, but the fear of having a sexual relationship remains. I isolate myself from […]

How To
How to Make Your Ravishment Fantasy Come True

There is perhaps no sexual fantasy that disturbs people more than the rape fantasy.  Even people in committed, loving relationships who have successfully navigated such a fantasy with massive amounts of communication and trust can feel weird about it. Readers often ask us, “What’s wrong with me that I’m into this?” Well, as we have […]