Fantasies
Books
How Fantasizing Can Improve Your Sex Life

Tracey Cox author photo by Daniel Annett The fabulous and funny Tracey Cox from the U.K. is one of our favorite sex writers out there. We’re thrilled to present the following excerpt from her new book, Dare: What Happens When Fantasies Come True, which is available now on Amazon for your Kindle. Tracey’s Dare product range […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo, Are Rape Fantasies Normal…If I’m a Rape Survivor?

Dear Em & Lo, I’m not sure if I’m going to word this correctly, but here it goes. I’m 20 years old and am engaged to a wonderful man who has blessed me with a son. Before I met him I had a bad life and I had been raped 3 times. Lately during sex […]

Research
Why Women Have Ravishment and Rape Fantasies

We wrote a post here a while back about research into men’s and women’s fantasy lives — and in particular, how often this sort of research is willfully misinterpreted. That got us wondering what other new fantasy research might be out there… and we came across a fascinating study about why women have rape fantasies […]

Research
Just How Different Are Men’s and Women’s Fantasy Lives?

Are women’s and men’s fantasy lives vastly different, or are they basically the same except for a few variations on theme and frequency? We suppose it depends on who you ask and what they believe. Because people’s prior beliefs about how women and men approach sex can really affect the way they interpret research on […]

Confessions
Comment of the Week: Why I Don’t Fantasize During Sex

photo via flickr Figleaf does it again this week, dropping his wise words on the topic of sexual fantasies. This was in response to a post titled, “Question of the Week: Do You Fantasize About Other People During Sex?” Pretty much ever since I first heard an “expert” mention sexual fantasies, I’ve heard that it’s […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Do Men Have Elaborate Fantasies Like Women?

photo via flickr Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do guys ever have elaborate fantasies (Riding a white horse to a naked maiden? Being captured as a porn star’s slave?), or do their fantasies tend to be more prosaic?” To ask the guys your own question, click here. […]

Confessions
Question of the Week: Do You Fantasize About Other People During Sex?

photo via flickr Do you ever fantasize about other people during sex with your partner? Does it depend on the relationship (casual vs. long-term)? How often do you think it is acceptable to do this? Do you ever tell your partner that you do this, or is it better to keep this sort of fantasy […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: My Husband Likes to Watch Me with Male Strippers

Dear Em & Lo, Me and my husband of twenty years have been fantasizing about so many things — one of which is me being grinded on by a male stripper in a private room with my husband watching. This was realized about a month ago at a gay bar where we decided to proceed […]

Research
Given a Free Pass for a Fling, Women Would Call an Old Flame

vintage album cover via flickr We’ve long known that The One Who Got Away makes for great late-night Google fantasies. And that makes sense: you rifle through your memory bank after another bad breakup — or after another inane argument with your spouse — and wonder how life would have been different if you’d stayed […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: Why Does My BF Ask About My Exes During Sex?

photo via flickr We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. And frankly, this one is a doozie. Make your call by leaving your response in the comments section below. Dear […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Do Men Have Rape Fantasies Too?

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “You often hear how the rape fantasy is common in the minds of many women. Do men have this fantasy, too?” To ask the guys your own question, click here. Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller): I’m sure lots of men have rape […]

Your Call
Your Call: When Your Partner’s Fantasies Are Seriously Disturbing…

We’ve said before that one’s fantasy life need not be impeded by fears, be limited by ethics, or even abide by the laws of physics. But then we read a comment like the one from icequeenkjd in response to the post “Wise Guys: What Do Men Think About When They Fantasize?” and that whole philosophy […]

How To
How to Share a Fantasy in 3 Easy(ish) Steps

Sharing a fantasy with a partner can be a cheap and easy way to foster intimacy, build trust, and kink things up. But it takes a lot of courage to do. What if you think yours is too mundane to put into words (remember Meg Ryan’s faceless stranger fantasy in When Harry Met Sally?). Or […]