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Tag Archive | "Horoscopes"

Your Weekly Horoscopes: 09-15-14

Monday, September 15, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Someone will become infatuated with you this week. Of course, the dictionary [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 09-08-14

Monday, September 8, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) No matter how many new shirts you buy, how many manicures you [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 09-02-14

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) May we suggest you channel your need to take control into sexual [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 08-25-14

Monday, August 25, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect): aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) We all have our fantasies of becoming the people we want to [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 08-18-14 (Grease Week)

Monday, August 18, 2014

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photo via Flickr aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) There are two schools of thought when it comes to the school dance: Cling to the wall until you spy the perfect Astaire to your Rogers, or get on the dance floor asap and shake your thang while you wait. Remember the dance-off scene in Grease? Yeah, Sandy [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 08-11-14

Monday, August 11, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) For all you Aries out there who aren’t in a long-term relationship, but want to be (even if you don’t want to be, you have no choice): You will meet someone who will factor into the equation for quite a while if you attend organized events that [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 08-04-14

Monday, August 4, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Does anyone ever enjoy listening to someone else’s cry for attention? That’s one rhetorical question to grow on this week. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) Well, if you were looking for an excuse to avoid any decision-making this week, here it is: according to the stars, this is [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 07-28-14

Monday, July 28, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Danger ahead. Proceed with caution. Go slow. Watch for sharp turns in the road. Get AAA for your genitals. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) Taking risks is only admirable when the results are positive. Wow, it’s really brave to jump out of a plane so you can tell [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 07-21-14

Sunday, July 20, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Keep yourself busy this week. And we don’t mean by re-organizing your sock drawer or checking out your Netflix Suggested Viewing. Go out on the town, wine, dine, take in the sights, absorb some local culture, flirt, shake your groove thang, sing karaoke, make out in dark [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 07-14-14

Monday, July 14, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Anxiety is about as sexy as spinach in your teeth, bad breath, and a root canal. (Don’t even try to figure out what all the mouth imagery means. ) If you want to get laid anytime soon, do whatever it takes to remove the sources of anxiety [...]

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