Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: April 13th, 2015

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The time is perfect to fall in love. All you need is a spunky Gemini or Leo or Aquarius. Oh sure, just go to the corner store and pick one up. They’re on sale, conveniently lined up on the shelf in alphabetical order. Right next to world peace and those cute […]

Your Haiku Horoscopes: April 6th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) I eat an apple. Outside it’s red, inside brown. Next time, banana. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: March 30th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, your sex drive and your sexual opportunties will be completely in sync. Don’t you […]

Your (Hamlet) Horoscopes: March 23rd, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) “To the noble mind / Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. ” (III, i) […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: March 16th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Be as stealthy as Frank Underwood in your pursuit of love (only more ethical): Don’t just […]

St. Paddy’s Horoscopes for the Week of March 9th, 2015

photo via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The stars say that you’ll be “romantically challenged” this week. Jeez, when did […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: March 2nd, 2015

photo via flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Ask lots of questions this week to determine which hottie is best suited […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: February 23rd, 2015

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Alice wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary when she fell into […]

Your Weekly Horoscopes: February 16th, 2015

photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Be the ball this week and play hard to get. Don’t let […]

Your Fifty Shades ‘Scopes

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, you’re ‘scopes are all shades of grey.  aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You might have and Audi R8 Sypder, […]