photo via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Sometimes we think the stars would rather be hosting a daytime talk show [...]
Continue reading...Monday, March 5, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The next time you’re in the presence of that special someone, stamp [...]
Continue reading...Monday, February 27, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) People are strange, when you’re a stranger, faces look ugly, when you’re [...]
Continue reading...Monday, February 20, 2012
photo via flickr In honor of Presidents’ Day, we’re letting the legacies of some of the past leaders of the free world help inform your love life this week. And then after this post, we’re giving each other the rest of the federal holiday off — we hope your own bosses are equally kind, generous, [...]
Continue reading...Monday, February 13, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Hey big spender, put your wallet away. If it’s your hard-earned dollars winning someone over, are they really worth winning? Even if it’s your easily-come-by trust fund dollars doing the winning? Okay, so let’s just say, hypothetically, that they really are that hot, and you really are [...]
Continue reading...Monday, February 6, 2012
photo via Flickr aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week your love life is like a box of chocolates. All you have to do is pick one. Just be sure to avoid the ones filled with orange creams — they always suck. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) During a week when it seems like half the population [...]
Continue reading...Monday, January 30, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) No couch potato-ing it this week. Get off your bum and shake that ass. Think about sex globally, act locally. The more situations you put yourself in where you could accidentally bump into someone now, the more likely you are to bump uglies later. taurus (Apr. 21st-May [...]
Continue reading...Monday, January 23, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Aren’t you Mr(s) Popular? Everyone will want to spend time with you this week. What, did you win the lottery or finally get that penis implant/boob jobbie? No, no, of course, it’s your loving nature that draws the crowds. So spread the love. Just wear rubber gloves. [...]
Continue reading...Tuesday, January 17, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Don’t let your genitals do the decision making this week. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) How do you expect your partner know where you stand when you keep moving around the chessboard of love without following any of the rules? Don’t rush, take turns making moves, and don’t [...]
Continue reading...Monday, January 9, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) A reader wrote in recently complaining that the Aries horoscopes are always lame. Well, we can’t control the stars but we can try to be nicer. Unfortunately, it ain’t gonna happen this week. The stars say you should keep your trap shut and your eyes open and [...]
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Monday, March 12, 2012
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