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Tag Archive | "Horoscopes"

Your Weekly Stars: 07-21-14

Sunday, July 20, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Keep yourself busy this week. And we don’t mean by re-organizing your sock drawer or checking out your Netflix Suggested Viewing. Go out on the town, wine, dine, take in the sights, absorb some local culture, flirt, shake your groove thang, sing karaoke, make out in dark [...]

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Your Weekly Stars: 07-14-14

Monday, July 14, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Anxiety is about as sexy as spinach in your teeth, bad breath, and a root canal. (Don’t even try to figure out what all the mouth imagery means. ) If you want to get laid anytime soon, do whatever it takes to remove the sources of anxiety [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 07-07-14

Monday, July 7, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Anxiety is about as sexy as spinach in your teeth, bad breath and a root canal. [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: Independence Day Edition!

Monday, June 30, 2014

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Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Sign your Declaration of lnfatuation already and distribute it to the object of your infatuation. You’re guaranteed at least 200 [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-23-14

Monday, June 23, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) When Billy Ocean told that woman to “get out of my dreams and into my car,” [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-16-14

Monday, June 16, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If you’re the last person on earth to not use Facebook, then sign up already: Someone [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-09-14

Monday, June 9, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Oh, Aquarius, you’re a fool for love. It’s kind of cute when Meg Ryan does it, [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 06-02-2014

Monday, June 2, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Your needs may not be fulfilled if you have tunnel vision regarding the likes and dislikes [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 05-27-14

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) According to the stars, “a one-on-one relationship will be too confining for you this week.” If [...]

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Your Weekly Horoscopes: 05-19-14

Monday, May 19, 2014

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photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Omigod, it so totally worked! Your new Urban Outfitters alterna-wardrobe has totally given you this new [...]

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