Horoscopes
Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horos: May 11th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Got any overly cautious friends in the house? If so, this might be a good week to seek advice from […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: May 4th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, be the bottom. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) You’re one of those incredibly successful multi-taskers who has a full-time […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: Sexual Positions Edition

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Keeping up with the Joneses in bed is a terrible idea. But every now and then it’s fun to be […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: April 20th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) You’re living Les Liaisons Dangereuse this week. You are Madame de Tourvel (or Michelle Pfeiffer, for those of who prefer […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: April 13th, 2015

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The time is perfect to fall in love. All you need is a spunky Gemini or Leo or Aquarius. Oh sure, just go to the corner store and pick one up. They’re on sale, conveniently lined up on the shelf in alphabetical order. Right next to world peace and those cute […]

Horoscopes
Your Haiku Horoscopes: April 6th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) I eat an apple. Outside it’s red, inside brown. Next time, banana. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: March 30th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, your sex drive and your sexual opportunties will be completely in sync. Don’t you […]

Horoscopes
Your (Hamlet) Horoscopes: March 23rd, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) “To the noble mind / Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. ” (III, i) […]

Horoscopes
Your Weekly Horoscopes: March 16th, 2015

Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Be as stealthy as Frank Underwood in your pursuit of love (only more ethical): Don’t just […]

Horoscopes
St. Paddy’s Horoscopes for the Week of March 9th, 2015

photo via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril. (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The stars say that you’ll be “romantically challenged” this week. Jeez, when did […]