photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) The time is perfect to fall in love. All you need is a spunky Gemini or Leo or Aquarius. Oh sure, just go to the corner store and pick one up. They’re on sale, conveniently lined up on the shelf in alphabetical order. Right next to world [...]
Continue reading...Monday, November 5, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Don’t mix business with pleasure this week. The gossip-mongers by the water cooler are hungry for [...]
Continue reading...Monday, October 29, 2012
Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Drink martinis (shaken, not stirred), practice your witty repartee (Hottie: “Hi, Justin Time.” You: “Yes you are.”) and pick up [...]
Continue reading...Monday, October 22, 2012
photo via Flickr Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) How can anyone resist you this week? Especially in that provocative Halloween costume you chose to don [...]
Continue reading...Monday, October 15, 2012
Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes — ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) This week, you may be asked to get off the fence regarding your plans for the future. If you can’t [...]
Continue reading...Monday, October 8, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Be careful what you wish for. Twelve-inch penises are way overrated, money can’t buy you happiness, and don’t let Brangelina fool you: Fame is a bitch. Being popular usually just means you’re constantly surrounded by people you don’t like. Take a closer look at someone outside of [...]
Continue reading...Monday, October 1, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) A friend or relative will introduce you to someone new and (keep your fingers crossed) interesting. Of course, this could mean you’ll be meeting your Aunt Myra’s renowned and flamboyant gastroenterologist. But let’s be optimistic. If someone wants to set you up on a blind date, then [...]
Continue reading...Monday, September 24, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If we wanted to tell you to “strut your stuff” without sounding like your parents, how would we do it? (Does anyone actually have “stuff” to “strut” anymore? ) Anyway, we don’t suggest you attempt an actual strut (John Travolta was the last person to pull one [...]
Continue reading...Monday, September 17, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) “This is the very ecstasy of love.” (II, i) taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt up in your philosophy.” (I, v) gemini (May 21st-June 21st) “Get thee to a nunnery.” (III, i) cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd) [...]
Continue reading...Monday, September 10, 2012
photo by Simply Schmoopie aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Someone you think is completely wrong for you, for whatever reason–bad hair, bad table manners, bad politics, bad breath–is going to keep pushing. Before you write them off completely, give them a second chance and a mint. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) Has the romantic lead in your [...]
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Monday, November 12, 2012
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