How To
KEGEL WEEK: How To Do Kegels (for HER)

  Yesterday we went over the anatomy of your genital muscles and introduced you to the man who invented Kegels. Today, we instruct you, ladies, on how to actually do the strengthening exercises. (Guys, you’re up next.) The following is excerpted from our first sex manual, The Big Bang: KEGELS FOR HER Not only do defined […]

Dear Em & Lo
5 Ways to Make Sex with the Well-Endowed More Comfortable

Dear Em and Lo, I have recently found that mythical man that every woman wants and movies portray. He’s financially stable, no ex drama, gorgeous (holy crap is he!), very sexy, and very tall (approx 6′ 3″-4″). The latter part of his good qualities is what’s the issue — he’s TALL. Meaning that everything else […]

How To
The Reverse Coital Alignment Technique (or Reverse C.A.T.)

Yesterday we reviewed the Coital Alignment Technique, a sexual position that involves lots of body contact, slow and steady shifting, and a philosophical readjustment toward intercourse — all designed to increase a woman’s chances of orgasm via penile penetration. (Trust us, it’s sexier than that sounds.) Today, we cover how to flip that C.A.T. upside […]

How To
The Coital Alignment Technique (C.A.T.) – A Refresher Course

You’ve all heard of the Coital Alignment Technique. It was all the rage a decade or so ago. But have you ever actually tried it? Have you tried it again recently? It takes patience. It takes practice. And it goes against everything you’ve seen in porn. But since when did porn cater to what women […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Do Men Really Care About Their Partner’s Flexibility?

photo via Flickr Advice from three of’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do men really care about how flexible their partners are in bed?” To ask the guys your own question, click here. Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): Sure, flexibility is great… but I don’t need you to be able to lock your legs behind […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: I Can’t Have Intercourse, Should I Let Him Sleep Around?

photo via flickr We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.  Dear Em & Lo, My husband and I […]

Personal Essays
5 Reasons to Have Sex with the Lights On

photo via flickr contributor Jewely Hoxie, who is studying Human Sexuality at the University of California Santa Cruz — you can read her blog here — has a confession to make: In the movie Manhattan, Diane Keaton says to Woody Allen that he’s the kind of man she could see herself have kids with […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Do Men Like Crazy Positions in Bed?

photo via flickr Advice from three of’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Are most guys really into tackling crazy sexual positions (e.g. the wheelbarrow) or are most men completely happy with the standards (e.g. missionary, woman on top, etc)? If it’s the former, why?” To ask the guys your own question, click here. Married […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: How Can a Relationship Work When the Sex Is Compromised?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. This week, we had two very similar inquiries from both a straight woman and a straight man. Make […]

Personal Essays
Confession: Orgasmless Sex Isn’t Just a Female Thing

photo via Flickr In keeping with this week’s “Did You Come?” theme, one of our recent college grad friends has a confession to make: The first time my boyfriend didn’t orgasm during sex I was completely shocked. This NEVER happened. Was I loosing my touch? Was I not sexy anymore? Was he bored or losing […]

Comment of the Week: Why It’s Okay to Ask, Did You Come?

In response to our post “The Ten Worst Things You Can Say in Bed,” reader Walt Whitman wrote the following. And we have to say: he makes an excellent point! I take minor issue with #10. [“Did you come?”] I think it’s a bit romantic to presume that one’s partner will simply know whether the […]

How To
The Ten Worst Things You Can Say in Bed

photo via flickr If we had to distill our entire body of sex advice into one word, it would probably be this: communicate. Before sex, during sex, after sex — speak up, people! It’s the only way to get what you need and want, and to make sure that your partner is getting what they […]

What's Up Doc?
Dear Dr. Kate: Can the Cervix Get Hurt During Intercourse?

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions every few weeks on To ask her your own question, click here. Dear Dr. Kate, What does it feel like when a man’s penis hits the cervix during intercourse? I think it’s […]

Personal Essays
Confession: The Top 10 Reasons to Love the Missionary Position

photo via One of our college contributors, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make: Everytime I check out Cosmo, look at Men’s Health with my boyfriend, or go to the sex aisle at Barnes and Noble, I see hundreds of very creative (and sometimes gravity-defying) ways that I “should” be having sex. But […]

How To
5 Ways to Reconceptualize SEX

  We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: Sex is not intercourse. So stop using the two words interchangeably! When we as a society do this over and over again, it gets into the collective unconscious and starts limiting how we imagine the possibilities of pleasure, especially for women. A majority of women (that’s […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Who Has to Work Harder During Sex, Men or Women?

photo via Flickr Advice from three of EM & LO‘s guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “Who has to work harder during sex: men or women? Why?” Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): I know for a fact men have to work harder just to have sex in the first place. As for who […]