Personal Essays
Confession: How I (Still) Make My Open Relationship Work

Three years ago, our then intern Kristine deGuzman, who was a junior at UC Berkeley at the time, wrote a Confession for this site about how she and her boyfriend were taking a break from each other while she studied abroad. Kristine is now a Cal grad and a Senior Social Media Specialist at a […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: My Husband Wants Gay Sex

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below: Dear Em & Lo, My husband […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys – Would You Accept a Free Pass for a One-Night Stand?

photo by balinto Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “If a guy’s partner told him that he could have a one-night stand with a stranger, no questions asked, and it was guaranteed that his partner wouldn’t freak out about it later — would most guys take their partner […]

Pop Culture
The Map of Non-Monogamy

According to Franklin Veaux’s personal website, he is an atheist/transhumanist/computer hacker/BDSM switch who owns a small graphic design and training firm and is into Apple computers, World of Warcraft, tattoos, piercing, photography and polyamory. He’s the guy who did that awesome Map of Human Sexuality a while back. And now he’s done the official Map […]

How To
Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Non-Monogamous

The other week, we ran a lighthearted post called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous” as encouragement for those people who choose to be in exclusive, long-term relationships. Some of you took it as an indictment of non-monogamy, which wasn’t our intention at all. (See the comments section of that post for […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call – Should You Have Extracurricular Sex If Given Permission?

photo by batega Dear Em & Lo, First off, I will say that I love my boyfriend. We are extremely compatible in almost every way. Except sex, and here’s why. About two years ago my boyfriend ruptured a testicle. Sex is now extremely painful for him and he has difficulty reaching orgasm. As a result […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: Should I Break Up with My College Boyfriend?

photo by jeroen_bennink Dear Em & Lo, Some may call us v-card clingers, but my boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. Giving our virginity to each other was not our first first–we were incredibly inexperienced before meeting. Although the relationship began out of lust it has blossomed into much more. He’s […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

photo by pasukaru76 Advice from three of our guy friends. This week we ask, “Are men hardwired to cheat? More than women?“ Straight Married Guy (Ben): When it comes to sex, sexuality and attraction, men ARE hardwired for many things. We are hardwired to notice — men, women, whatever your sexual preference. We are hardwired […]

Pop Culture
Writer Defends Adulterers, Calls the Rest of Us “Holier Than Thou”

If you’ve listened to Howard Stern even once over the past decade (that’d be Em, not Lo), then you know that one of his most loyal advertisers is the Ashley Madison Agency — the online dating site that caters to married people with the tagline “Life is short. Have an affair.” Charming. On and off […]