8 Rules for the Third Wheel in a Threeway

Our contributor is a college student who wishes to remain anonymous. She has some sage advice to impart on the topic of three ways… When people give warnings about threeways, it’s usually directed at couples who are bringing in a third party. Threeways are not a relationship-building exercise, they tell you. Are you sure your relationship can handle […]

How To
Can Open Relationships Cure Jealousy?

We’ve always said that if you want to be in an open relationship, it helps if you’re the kind of advanced human being who is missing the jealousy gene. (Neither of us comes even remotely close, for the record.) It just seems like, if you’re going to be cool with your one-and-only kissing someone else […]

Personal Essays
Confession: How I (Still) Make My Open Relationship Work

Three years ago, our then intern Kristine deGuzman, who was a junior at UC Berkeley at the time, wrote a Confession for this site about how she and her boyfriend were taking a break from each other while she studied abroad. Kristine is now a Cal grad and a Senior Social Media Specialist at a […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: My Husband Wants Gay Sex

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below: Dear Em & Lo, My husband […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys – Would You Accept a Free Pass for a One-Night Stand?

photo by balinto Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “If a guy’s partner told him that he could have a one-night stand with a stranger, no questions asked, and it was guaranteed that his partner wouldn’t freak out about it later — would most guys take their partner […]

Pop Culture
The Map of Non-Monogamy

According to Franklin Veaux’s personal website, he is an atheist/transhumanist/computer hacker/BDSM switch who owns a small graphic design and training firm and is into Apple computers, World of Warcraft, tattoos, piercing, photography and polyamory. He’s the guy who did that awesome Map of Human Sexuality a while back. And now he’s done the official Map […]

How To
Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Non-Monogamous

The other week, we ran a lighthearted post called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous” as encouragement for those people who choose to be in exclusive, long-term relationships. Some of you took it as an indictment of non-monogamy, which wasn’t our intention at all. (See the comments section of that post for […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call – Should You Have Extracurricular Sex If Given Permission?

photo by batega Dear Em & Lo, First off, I will say that I love my boyfriend. We are extremely compatible in almost every way. Except sex, and here’s why. About two years ago my boyfriend ruptured a testicle. Sex is now extremely painful for him and he has difficulty reaching orgasm. As a result […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: Should I Break Up with My College Boyfriend?

photo by jeroen_bennink Dear Em & Lo, Some may call us v-card clingers, but my boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. Giving our virginity to each other was not our first first–we were incredibly inexperienced before meeting. Although the relationship began out of lust it has blossomed into much more. He’s […]