Non-Monogamy
How To
Can Open Relationships Cure Jealousy?

We’ve always said that if you want to be in an open relationship, it helps if you’re the kind of advanced human being who is missing the jealousy gene. (Neither of us comes even remotely close, for the record.) It just seems like, if you’re going to be cool with your one-and-only kissing someone else […]

Personal Essays
Confession: How I (Still) Make My Open Relationship Work

Three years ago, our then intern Kristine deGuzman, who was a junior at UC Berkeley at the time, wrote a Confession for this site about how she and her boyfriend were taking a break from each other while she studied abroad. Kristine is now a Cal grad and a Senior Social Media Specialist at a […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: My Husband Wants Gay Sex

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below: Dear Em & Lo, My husband […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys – Would You Accept a Free Pass for a One-Night Stand?

photo by balinto Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “If a guy’s partner told him that he could have a one-night stand with a stranger, no questions asked, and it was guaranteed that his partner wouldn’t freak out about it later — would most guys take their partner […]

Pop Culture
The Map of Non-Monogamy

According to Franklin Veaux’s personal website, he is an atheist/transhumanist/computer hacker/BDSM switch who owns a small graphic design and training firm and is into Apple computers, World of Warcraft, tattoos, piercing, photography and polyamory. He’s the guy who did that awesome Map of Human Sexuality a while back. And now he’s done the official Map […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call – Should You Have Extracurricular Sex If Given Permission?

photo by batega Dear Em & Lo, First off, I will say that I love my boyfriend. We are extremely compatible in almost every way. Except sex, and here’s why. About two years ago my boyfriend ruptured a testicle. Sex is now extremely painful for him and he has difficulty reaching orgasm. As a result […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: Should I Break Up with My College Boyfriend?

photo by jeroen_bennink Dear Em & Lo, Some may call us v-card clingers, but my boyfriend and I have been together for three years now. Giving our virginity to each other was not our first first–we were incredibly inexperienced before meeting. Although the relationship began out of lust it has blossomed into much more. He’s […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

photo by pasukaru76 Advice from three of our guy friends. This week we ask, “Are men hardwired to cheat? More than women?“ Straight Married Guy (Ben): When it comes to sex, sexuality and attraction, men ARE hardwired for many things. We are hardwired to notice — men, women, whatever your sexual preference. We are hardwired […]

Pop Culture
Writer Defends Adulterers, Calls the Rest of Us “Holier Than Thou”

If you’ve listened to Howard Stern even once over the past decade (that’d be Em, not Lo), then you know that one of his most loyal advertisers is the Ashley Madison Agency — the online dating site that caters to married people with the tagline “Life is short. Have an affair.” Charming. On and off […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: Should I Cheat on My Husband Who’s Abroad?

Dear Em & Lo, I read your articles, and you give great advice to other readers, so maybe you can help me! My husband lives in another country; he’s in the process of coming over here, but we aren’t even sure when! We have been apart for a year already, and we’ve been married for […]

Dear Em & Lo
Conquering Jealousy in an Open Relationship

This past Wednesday we published a thank you letter from a reader who [patting ourselves firmly on the back] benefited from our advice concerning his open relationship. Well, we know that we’re not solely responsible for the success story, so we asked Zac to elaborate on how he was able to banish the green-eyed monster. […]

Dear Em & Lo
How One Couple Conquered Jealousy In Their Open Relationship

About 18 months ago we answered a reader’s plea for advice about her open relationship. And then just this week we heard from the reader’s boyfriend, Zac, who told us that the advice totally worked! We’re suckers for a success story, especially when it’s one of our own, so we thought we’d reprint the various […]

Dear Em & Lo
Your Call: Should She Give a Cheater a Chance?

photo by cupcakes2 Dear Em & Lo, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I love him very much but have recently found out that he likes another girl. We have spoken about it and he says that nothing has happened but he is tempted by her everytime he […]

Personal Essays
Confession: My Boyfriend and I Have Crushes on Other People

Our contributor Kristine deGuzman, a junior at UC Berkeley, has a confession to make: It was my roommate’s 21st birthday a few Fridays ago, so my roommates and I decided to throw her a massive birthday party at our apartment. My boyfriend opted to chill in my bedroom for most of the night, while I […]

Dear Em & Lo
Dear Em & Lo: What’s So Wrong with Cheating on My Husband?

Dear Em & Lo, I’ve read your books and love your website, but I notice you are against any infidelity and look down on those who have affairs, but you’re okay with swinging and group sex and anal sex probes and bisexuals and all kinds of things that normal folks (who occasionally stray) find disgusting. […]