Sexism
Your Call
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care About My Orgasm

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.  This guy I am seeing is really affectionate, […]

Advice
Inside the Mind of a Jealous Man

Things with your boyfriend started off great. But then he realized you actually had a sexual history…with other men. Maybe he found an old naughty picture your ex once sent you long ago, or maybe he can’t handle you being friends with an ex, or maybe he invades your privacy and goes snooping through your email […]

Confessions
Don’t Call Yourself a Slut

Reader “Don” had this to say in response to our post “How Many Partners Officially Makes You a Slut?” While we can see the benefits of reclaiming the word and wearing it as a badge of honor, we also appreciate, like Don, the importance of not using it any self-denigrating way, however subtly: Once, a close friend described […]

Confessions
Why Some Men Aren’t Interested in Women’s Pleasure

Jenny Bean had a thoughtful (and somewhat depressing) response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm“: I think society tells us girls early in life that we shouldn’t want sex, sex is bad. Girls that do like sex or God forbid have a sex drive [are] slu**s, who**s, etc. Men […]

Sex Poetry
Adrienne Rich’s Poetic Underwater Exploration of Androgynous Bisexuality

Adrienne Rich (1929-2012) was one of the best known, most beloved American poets of the second half of the 20th century. And “Diving into the Wreck” is one of her best known, most beloved poems. In 1973, Erica “Zipless Fuck” Jong analyzed it beautifully for Ms. Magazine: In “Diving into the Wreck,” the title poem, it is the […]

Confessions
Is Rape Natural?

Sometimes a reader comment demands more than just a “thumbs down” or a two-sentence rebuttal.  Sometimes it warrants its own full-length post. J Male’s recent response to “Why Women Have Ravishment and Rape Fantasies” was one such comment. Our reply is below his: “Rape fantasies were a way [for women] to avoid taking blame for their […]

Pop Culture
A Line-by-Line Take Down of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

The song performed in the 1949 musical “Neptune’s Daughter” ’Tis the season to be sexist, with the “traditional” Xmas pop played on an eternal loop, reinforcing old gender stereotypes about boys only wanting cowboy boots and guns while girls insist on walking, talking dollies. There’s the infernal Love, Actually movie which, despite its charming British […]

Confessions
If You Want to Make Sex Equal, Stop Viewing Penetration as Submissive

Reader Lily had a lot to say this week in response to our (oldie but goodie) post “Confession: I Want to Do My Boyfriend with a Strap-On.” We’ve gathered her various comments into one post here for your edification. Preach it, Lily! And we would just add that misperception doesn’t make something so; if we […]

Pop Culture
10 Really Annoying Things That “Guy’s Girls” Do

Our absolute favorite part of Gillian Flynn’s novel Gone Girl is when Amy Dunne rails against the concept of the Cool Girl, also commonly identified in the field as a “guys’ girl”: “Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. … I […]

Pop Culture
10 Books We’d Like to See with Gender-Swapped Main Characters

In honor of the 10th anniversary of her Twilight series, Stephenie Meyers has just released a new edition, which includes a 400+ paged reimagining of the first novel with the genders reversed called Life and Death. The purpose of the new version is to prove to the world that Bella’s character wasn’t an anti-feminist damsel-in-distress, as […]

How To
7 Ways EVERYONE Can Be More Chivalrous (Without Being Sexist)

Treating each other well is a practice BOTH sexes should embrace! When was the last time you felt completely appreciated — the kind of appreciation that leaves no doubt about how fully gorgeous/handsome, dating someone who makes you feel like that (deeply appreciated) is incredibly special … and arousing. And sorry, today’s “no emotions involved,” hit-it-and-quit-it “hook […]

News
Why This Pope Is Better for Women Than Republicans

Let’s begin with a qualifier: us saying the Pope is better for women than Republicans does not mean we think the Pope is some new progressive superhero. He’s got 2000 years of dogmatic baggage to contend with. He believes people — including those in third world countries where HIV and overpopulation are serious problems — shouldn’t […]

Pop Culture
If You Don’t Like Vocal Fry and Uptalk, You’re (Probably) Old and Sexist

Much has been written lately about women’s speech patterns, and whether certain verbal behaviors like uptalk (a.k.a. valleyspeak), vocal fry (a.k.a. creak), and “sexy baby voice” are hurting their careers and preventing people from taking them seriously. According to Lake Bell, a woman who talks this way sounds like “a 12-year-old little girl that is submissive […]

How To
5 Reasons to Merge Last Names When You Marry

View this image | gettyimages.com When I got married, my groom and I wore matching white suits and ties (including inscribed white Converse high tops). Our parents walked each of us down the outside aisles simultaneously until we all met in the middle at the altar. My friend who married us concluded the ceremony with […]

Confessions
The Pros & Cons of a Wife Bonus

It’s the topic that just keeps on giving! First, we wrote about the new book, “The Primates of Park Avenue” (actually, we imagined several responses to the book about rich men giving their wives bonuses for “good performances” in poem form). Then we had to feature The Best of #WifeBonus on Twitter — because it […]

Memes
The Best of #WifeBonus on Twitter This Week

Earlier this week we posted our poem, “13 Ways of Looking at a Wife Bonus,” in response to the news that some Upper East Side stay-at-home moms, married to hedge fund managers and bankers and otherwise rich men, allegedly get end of year “wife bonuses” for good housekeeping (amongst other things). We’re not the only ones a little […]