Making a Bad Show Worse: Turning “The Bachelorette” Into “Highlander”

Well, we’ve made it through another season of The Bachelor. The editors cut the footage with a heavy hand to make us think Chris would ultimately think with his dick and pick the distant, unamused, hot virgin, Becca, instead of the much more sensible choice, Iowa-loving, family-embracing, 100% gung-ho, baby-talking (in ALL senses of the word) […]

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Top 10 Life Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Women Tell All)

via The Bachelor’s Twitter feed Last night, we came to the cat fight portion of the season with “The Women Tell All” episode of The Bachelor, in which producers gather together all rejected participants in a room with a live studio audience to watch — and defend — their most humiliating, offensive, mean-spirited and basically […]

Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor,” for Bachelors (Bali)

via Wow, what happened to the all the world travel the contestants on (and viewers of) The Bachelor/ette have come to know and love?  They really kept it real (and cheap) this season, by limiting the majority of the shooting to the continental United States. Santa Fe, the Badlands, Arlington, Iowa? Pretty much the least […]

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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Iowa + Hometowns)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed It’s kind of ironic that “Fifty Shades of Grey,” with its helipads and helicopters and gliders and penthouses and fancy cars, came out the same weekend “The Bachelor” aired its least glamorous episodes ever, featuring the scent of manure in the air, the shuttered businesses of a 400-person town, the […]

Top 6 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Badlands)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed After such a tepid start, this season of “The Bachelor” has really started delivering on the crazy, thanks in part….okay, all thanks to the evil manipulation of events by the hand-rubbing, mustache-twirling producers. Let’s give the jock the short wedding dress during the mud run competition so she’s sure to win […]

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Top 8 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (New Mexico Is a State)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed Okay, it wasn’t the most dramatic rose ceremony ever (because there wasn’t one), but it was the most dramatic episode of this season so far, for sure.  The Emmy for Best Actress in a Reality Show should go to either Britt (“I want 100 kids! I’m an Angelina-Jolie-hot waitress […]

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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Camping, Not Glamping)

photo via @BachelorABC (the caption read: “One of these virginities will be taken tonight.” Brilliant.) The fourth episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” featured more Emmy-worthy editing, from the tiny violins playing over Ashley “Kardashian’s”s tragic princess soliloquy to the close-up shots of her weave to the sad, foreboding music behind Jillian’s tasteless “Who Would You Rather” […]

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Top 10 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Wedding “Crashers” Episode)

photo via ABC’s The Bachelor Last night’s third episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” continued the season’s new style of embracing the humor along with the histrionics (often via some heavy-handed editing at the women’s expense). For examples of this trend, see Ellen DeGeneres’s recent season recap: Is Chris Soules so boring that the producers’ only recourse […]

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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Prince Farming’s First Dates)

photo via ABC’s The Bachelor Last night’s second episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” proved to be quite entertaining, despite Prince Farming having the personality of a soybean. The producers seemed to pepper the episode with the kind of zany, kooky, funny stuff usually reserved for the closing credits — in order to make up for Chris […]

What Did You Think of Jeremy Renner’s “Globes” Joke?

screen shot from the Golden Globes on NBC J. Lo wore one of her, shall we say, memorable numbers to the 2015 Golden Globes, the kind of outfit that draws the unblinking stare of even the gayest gay man like greedy raiders of a lost ark. So when she and Jeremy Renner were about to […]