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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Fantasy Suites!)

In the world of “The Bachelorette,” euphemisms for sex are a dime a dozen — contestants talk about “really being together” and “being alone” and being able to “focus on each other,” when what they really mean is, having sex like bunnies once the cameras are turned off. In that spirit, we will refer to […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Killarney)

1. Get your hands out of your face. When you’re talking about your romantic feelings to the object of your affection, don’t constantly touch your face and cover your mouth and slur — it makes it seem like you’re hiding something…like you’re a liar and this is your tell (Nick).   2. Have some dignity when […]

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Top 10 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Ireland)

1. Cheating on your wife won’t just mess up your marriage — it could seriously impact your future relationships, too. Because at some point, your new girlfriend is going to ask, “So, er, hey, what happened with your marriage?” Then you’re going to have to admit that you cheated on the mother of your child. And the chances […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from The Bachelorette (Kaitlyn Takes NY)

  JJ thought he’d score points with Kaitlyn and the community, oddly, by embracing “bros before hoes” and, we guess, “bros before foes” ideology when he told Clint to apologize, not to her, but to the other guys in the house for being a Bachelorette-bogarting douche. However, all he did was earn the derision of his castmates — […]

Pop Culture
Top 6 Sex Ed Lessons from The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette is kicking ass and taking names! Having a baby breakdown because you didn’t get picked for the team? Kaitlyn’ll embarrass you further by calmly telling you to take your ball(s) and go home. Playing hard to get and not paying attention to her on a date? She’ll call you out for the disrespect in […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelorette” (Kaitlyn’s First Dates)

The Bachelor/ette franchise may have finally been completely ruined for us last nigth after Amy Schumer’s guest appearance during one of Kaitlyn’s group dates. That’s how brilliant she was, turning the show into what it really should be, what it was meant to be. Schumer was her usual, inappropriately hilarious self, but it’s a testement […]

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The Forthcoming Slut-Shaming of the Bachelorette

Last night, during part two of the season premiere, Bachelor Nation quickly learned that the producers had in fact stacked the deck against Britt to ensure Kaitlyn would take her rightful place as The Bachelorette. But even being staunch supporters of the Kaitlyn campaign did not make watching Britt’s unceremonious dismissal enjoyable. The Highlander gimmick […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The BacheloretteS” (Kaitlyn & Britt’s Season Premiere)

Life began again last night with the premiere of ABC’s “The Bachelorette”— or should we say, “The BacheloretteS”? After all, this season’s big twist was pitting last season’s two favorites — Kaitlyn Potty-Mouth Bristowe and Britt Insincerity’s-My-Middle-Name Nillson — against each other in a Highlander-esque cocktail party where they had to outcharm 25 fairly unimpressive […]

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The Best of #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow

We love it when Twitter puts its collective hive mind in the gutter: Today’s top trending hashtag is #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow. Here are some of the best: Faking It #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow — (@destoomuch) April 21, 2015 Leave it to Beaver #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow — Stacey Gaskin (@Stacey_Gaskin) April 21, 2015 #describeyoursexlifeinatvshow naked and afraid — Johnny Hammersticks (@DanielsonKelley) June 19, […]

Pop Culture
Word of the Week: Cinemadultery

photo via flickr These days, most of us watch TV on our own schedule, rather than sitting down in front of the box when the networks tell us to. In fact, plenty of people never even sit in front of a television set to watch their favorite shows! And plenty of us wait until an […]

TV
Making a Bad Show Worse: Turning “The Bachelorette” Into “Highlander”

Well, we’ve made it through another season of The Bachelor. The editors cut the footage with a heavy hand to make us think Chris would ultimately think with his dick and pick the distant, unamused, hot virgin, Becca, instead of the much more sensible choice, Iowa-loving, family-embracing, 100% gung-ho, baby-talking (in ALL senses of the word) […]

Pop Culture
Top 10 Life Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Women Tell All)

via The Bachelor’s Twitter feed Last night, we came to the cat fight portion of the season with “The Women Tell All” episode of The Bachelor, in which producers gather together all rejected participants in a room with a live studio audience to watch — and defend — their most humiliating, offensive, mean-spirited and basically […]

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Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor,” for Bachelors (Bali)

via ABC.com Wow, what happened to the all the world travel the contestants on (and viewers of) The Bachelor/ette have come to know and love?  They really kept it real (and cheap) this season, by limiting the majority of the shooting to the continental United States. Santa Fe, the Badlands, Arlington, Iowa? Pretty much the least […]

Pop Culture
Top 5 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (Iowa + Hometowns)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed It’s kind of ironic that “Fifty Shades of Grey,” with its helipads and helicopters and gliders and penthouses and fancy cars, came out the same weekend “The Bachelor” aired its least glamorous episodes ever, featuring the scent of manure in the air, the shuttered businesses of a 400-person town, the […]

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Top 6 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (The Badlands)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed After such a tepid start, this season of “The Bachelor” has really started delivering on the crazy, thanks in part….okay, all thanks to the evil manipulation of events by the hand-rubbing, mustache-twirling producers. Let’s give the jock the short wedding dress during the mud run competition so she’s sure to win […]

Pop Culture
Top 8 Love Lessons from “The Bachelor” (New Mexico Is a State)

from “The Bachelor’s” hysterical Twitter feed Okay, it wasn’t the most dramatic rose ceremony ever (because there wasn’t one), but it was the most dramatic episode of this season so far, for sure.  The Emmy for Best Actress in a Reality Show should go to either Britt (“I want 100 kids! I’m an Angelina-Jolie-hot waitress […]