by Lavinia Lumezanu for YourTango
Successful relationships start here.
We all want successful relationships in our lives, yet we manage to sabotage them one way or another. Sometimes we do it because we don’t know better, because we’re mad—or we get afraid when a relationship gets too good to be true, so we end up messing it up.
Yet beyond the fear, the messing up, and all our layers, we truly want out relationships to be successful.
Getting to that point in any of your relationships depends of a few key factors:
1. Always be honest.
I’m not talking about little things. Yes, tell her she looks beautiful when she wakes up, and tell him silly things that make him feel more confident, but never ever lie about the things that actually matter. These things that could potentially turn into big issues in the long run.
2. Keep the fights at home.
You’re in a relationship, therefore there will be fights, misunderstandings, and moments when you want to pour your heart out. Unless you belong to the Housewives of (you pick the city), there is no reason you can’t wait to have that conversation or even fight until you get home.
3. Always defend them in front of other people.
There’s always this phenomenon of ganging up on people just to be part of the bandwagon. You should never be part of that bandwagon when it comes to the person you’re in a relationship with. You can tease them as much as you want, but whenever anyone gangs up on him/her, always be the first to defend them. Remember you are a team in front of the rest of the world, whether that’s your family, your friends, or just random people.
4. Choose your words carefully.
Sometimes when we get mad, things heat up. When you feel you’re close to saying things you should never say to your loved one, just take a step back. If you’ve already said something that you know was wrong, apologize the second you realize it and make sure your partner understands that it’s not how you actually feel, but that you were angry and just blurted out something stupid.
5. Sleep on it.
You know that saying: never go to bed angry. Well sometimes that’s just the best thing you can do. Go to bed angry, sleep on it, before you say or do something you might regret.
Whether you realize it or not, the success of your relationship depends on little things just as much as the big things and following these simple steps will not only insure the success of your relationship, but will also support you in having a happier and more thriving life every single day.
This article was originally published at Success Story and YourTango: 5 Things People with Kickass Relationships Are Doing Better Than You
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I would add, pick your battles. Learn when to drop it. Accept that there are some things you’ll never agree on.
Amen, Brother Johnny! With my (late) husband, when disagreements began to heat up (rare, to be honest) I would always ask myself “is this worth the marriage”. Almost nothing is. And, on the rare occasion I stood my ground, I would ask him that question and focus the issue. It was a long, extremely happy marriage. A practice I continue to this day. Is (whatever I may be pissy about, or vice versa) worth this relationship. Is it?