The Wisdom of John Mayer, Tweeted

photo by Patty Keigan

Say what you will about John Mayer’s music — here marks the spot where Lo censored Em’s compliments about “Your Body Is a Wonderland” as a matter of principle — his Tweets are some of the funniest in the biz. (Okay, so he doesn’t have a lot of competition. Britney Spears: “How’s everyone’s 2010 going so far?”) Anyway, love him or hate him — or, most likely, a combination of the two — we thought you’d appreciate some of his Tweet-wisdom (twisdom?) on the topics of love, sex, bodily functions, and other important stuff. Here are a dozen of our favorites from the last month or so — you can follow him yourself at Twitter.com/JohnCMayer:

  1. What 1 area of your body gets touched the least? I’m going to guess sub-scrotal flange, but it could also be knee cleavage.
  2. If you call a girl 62 times and she’s sleeping, does it read in the morning as one missed call or 62? Asking for a friend.
  3. Waitresses of Vegas, be advised: I have no wife, children or endorsements. In other words, I have nothing to offer you.
  4. I wish I could take all you lonely hearts to a movie tonight. Maybe some Chinese food. Nothing crazy. [Tweeted Christmas Eve]
  5. It’s never the part of the karaoke where you’re singing. It’s the long instrumentals/solos that make you feel like a jack’s ass.
  6. I need to get back into the gym. I’m all for having boobs against my chest but not when they’re mine.

Read the rest of this list at SUNfiltered

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LOL… I have been reading his posts for a year now and they almost always crack me up. He usually posts in the middle of the night so you have to wait til morning to get the good stuff.