Top 10 Sex Tapes We REALLY Don't Want to See

photo by marcn

When we read the horrifying news that there’s a John Edwards sex tape out there, we wondered, yet again, when celebrities will realize that the only way to guarantee your sex tape won’t leak is not to make it. But we guess that as long as egotistic, power-drunk celebs continue to think they can get away with cheating on their spouses, they’ll also think they can get away with making private sex tapes. However, we’d like to speak up in defense of all the poor innocent citizens (like, um, us) who will have trouble sleeping tonight, just at the thought that we might someday accidentally click on a link that shows us John Edwards’ O-face. For the love of god, please let us be spared that. In fact, while we’re making our plea, here are the top 10 sex tapes — whether real or imaginary — that we really, really, really don’t want to see.

  1. John Edwards and his kooky toe-ring-wearing mistress Rielle Hunter.
  2. Anything involving Hugh Hefner that was shot in the last four decades. Actually, anything starring Hef, ever.
  3. Any MORE starring Paris Hilton. That was the most joyless sex tape we’ve ever seen.
  4. Puff Daddy. His mid-sex Tweet told us all we need to know.
  5. Brangelina. Because we like to imagine that even THEY look kinda funny when doing it — but they probably don’t, and that would make us sad.

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3 Comments on "Top 10 Sex Tapes We REALLY Don't Want to See"

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5 years 9 months ago

The link for ’10 ways to be more romantic’ also doesn’t work properly.

5 years 9 months ago

I don’t know who is coding your links, but about 90% of the time, it does not link to SUNfiltered properly.