British-born Hollywood director Tony Scott (brother of fellow filmmaker Ridley) died this past Sunday when he jumped from a bridge in Los Angeles. We didn’t know the man so we can remember him only through some of our favorite moments that he directed on the screen (well, at least, our favorite sex-related moments)…
10. The best-ever euphemism for a topping male sex partner: wingman. As in, Iceman (Val Kilmer) saying, “You can be my wingman any time.” And Maverick (Tom Cruise) replying, “Bullshit! You can be mine.” From, of course, TOP GUN (1983).
9. Tony Scott worked frequently with Denzel Washington, and though he mostly directed him in action scenes (as opposed to sex or love scenes), Washington’s tough guys oozed sex appeal in Scott’s movies. (So much so that we, two grown women and mothers of two small children each, are forced to use phrases like “oozed sex appeal.” Apologies, dear readers.) Like in DEJA VU (2006), when a bad guy (played by Jim Caviezel) tells Washington, “You better have some divine intervention, buddy. You’re gonna need it.” And Washington replies, “You better have some KY. You’re gonna need it.” Talk about a MAN ON FIRE (2004… another movie in which Scott directed Washington).
8. “I had to come all the way from the highway and byways of Tallahassee, Florida, to MotorCity, Detroit, to find my true love. If you gave me a million years to ponder, I would never have guessed that true romance and Detroit would ever go together. And til this day, the events that followed all still seems like a distant dream. But the dream was real and was to change our lives forever. I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and things seemed to be getting so shitty. And he’d say, ‘That’s the way it goes, but don’t forget, it goes the other way too.’ That’s the way romance is… Usually, that’s the way it goes, but every once in a while, it goes the other way too.” — A prostitute named Alabama (Patricia Arquette) talking about her husband Clarence (Christian Slater) in TRUE ROMANCE (1993), directed by Tony Scott and written by Quentin Tarantino
7. When hot-shot stock car driver Cole (Tom Cruise) mistakes his new doctor Claire (Nicole) for a stripper in DAYS OF THUNDER (1990). Not because she’s wearing stripper shoes, but because his colleagues had previously sent him a stripper dressed as a cop who “pats him down,” notices his erection, and says, “Looks like we found something… A concealed weapon.” We should note that the script is excruciating: Cole later tells Claire “I’m more afraid of bein’ nothing than I am of bein’ hurt.” And at another point, she tells him, “Boy, you’re very quick,” to which he replies — of course he does — “You oughta see me drive.” (Cruise himself is credited as one of the screenwriters, which tells you everything you need to know. And Tony Scott once said that they started filming without a script: they were basically told to put Cruise in a fast car and they’d make a fast buck.) Despite all that, though, we kind of love the chemistry between Cruise and Kidman — this is the movie where they met. Oh how we miss eighties/early-nineties Cruise.
6. “I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin’ thang.” — Big Don (Samuel L. Jackson) in TRUE ROMANCE (1993). It was much funnier back then (despite the use of the P-word, which has always made our skin crawl), before screenwriter Quentin Tarantino started to annoy the shit out of us. In fact, we think the only thing worse than the word “pussy” is the idea of Quentin Tarantino saying the word “pussy.”
5. Maverick (Tom Cruise) in a bar, serenading his flight school teacher Charlie (Kelly McGillis, with a pink sweater draped over her shoulders) with “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” in TOP GUN (1986). We know that this scene, co-starring a pre-E.R. Anthony Edwards as Goose, has kind of lost its oomph after so many bad karaoke renditions (not to mention the whole Scientology thing), but take yourself back to the very first time you saw it: pure eighties magic.
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