As soon as people find out we’re sex advice columnists, they typically ask three things: 1) What’s the craziest question you’ve ever been asked? 2) What question are you asked most often? And, 3) Is your sex life totally awesome and way better than mine? (Oh, and then there was this one time when a guy asked Em if she could please examine his penis and tell him if it was above or below average, but he was definitely an outlier.)
To answer query one, let’s just say it’s a tie between a woman’s very friendly Labrador pet and a guy who worked in a morgue — and we’re pretty sure they were both 100% serious. As for query number three, that’s none of your business! (Trust us, the answer’s way less interesting than either the Labrador or the morgue.)
Regarding query number two, we thought we’d compile a list of the top 25 advice questions we receive over and over again — in other words, consider this our brief guide to the human sexual condition, circa 1999-2013.
- Why can’t I orgasm?
- Why can’t my partner orgasm?
- Can I cheat on my partner?
- Why did my partner cheat on me?
- Should I tell my partner I cheated?
- How can I increase the size of my penis?
- I hate my labia/breasts/stomach/body.
- Help, I no longer desire my partner!
- Help, my partner no longer desires me!
- Will sex ever stop hurting?
- Will my heart ever stop hurting?
- Where’s my G-spot and how can I ejaculate?
- How can I make my partner female-ejaculate?
- Why is my partner obsessed with porn?
- Why can’t my partner chill out about my porn?
- Why is my partner obsessed with sex toys?
- Why can’t my partner chill out about my sex toys?
- I have a great idea for a new sex toy!
- I’m just not that into oral sex.
- Why won’t my partner go down on me?
- How do I please my partner?
- How do I tell my partner how to please me?
- Someone I love is kinky.
- I’m kinky — will I ever find love?
- Am I normal?